Patron Saint Of The Lost Causes
by FirithAriel
Summary: (The Shadow Of Your Heart series part III) Loki is dead. Once again his chance for happiness has been snatched from him. Despite losing most of his powers, he hasn't lost his wits, and is willing to strike a deal with the most unlikely being to get his life back and exact revenge. But he needs help from the living side, and relies on a promise long made to escape Hel.
1. Chapter 1

**Ch.1: It's hard to dance with a devil on your back.**

Loki is dead.

Thanos has snapped his neck and the last thing he remembered was the pain of all his nervous system shutting off. And those cries of despair- No, he doesn't wanna think about those.

At first he's disoriented. He knows he's dead, but… He still exists?

His _soul_ exists? It is an odd feeling, being real, but not solid? He tried to play with his magic. Okay, some tricks still work. He can change his clothes, and he chooses a darker color and a long thick cape. He cannot change his appearance. So he's stuck being a Jotun.

He can summon black obsidian knives as weapons. A weird choice, but try as he might, his steel blades wouldn't come. He wasn't sure if they could be of any use here anyway, but they made him feel safer.

Finally looking around, he realized that his soul had made its way to Helheim.

"Why am I not surprised?" Loki muttered to himself: as heroic as some of his last acts on life were, apparently they weren't enough to override all the awful things he also did.

Though he had the distinct feeling Odin had something to do with it.

He took his time wandering around, clutching his long cape around his body. It was fairly ridiculous. _He was dead._ He couldn't feel cold, or hot, or anything… But it was somewhat comforting. It surrounded him with memories of _home_. He wondered if the scent he felt was real or just a trick of his- _mind?_ Did he even have a mind with no brain?

Being a ghost IS weird.

Loki walked for a long time, trying to get a sense of direction. But the whole wasteland looked exactly the same. Barren, cold, dark, rotten… Dead tree trunks, hills made of black stone and ash. Not a house in sight, not even a resemblance of a settlement. He knew there was a shore, with a sea as black as the obsidian blade he had conjured, but he could not perceive its sound and there was no wind.

He tried to recognize something around him, but it was in vain. He had read many books about many subjects concerning the Nine Realms. He had learned about Helheim when he was a child, he knew the different parts of it, how the souls sent down here would be classified and punished according to their actions in life. That was enough for him to know he'd go to Náströnd, the _corpse shore_ , reserved for murderers and traitors. Loki suddenly felt he had a luminous signal on top of his head marking him as such.

Again, maybe Odin had something to do with it.

His best choice was to keep himself hidden. If he can change at least the color of his clothes, he can blur into the landscape. Besides, his magic wasn't the only trick he had. He would survive- or something. Or not survive, but spare himself of the punishments for as long as he could. Loki felt a shiver down his back at realizing he didn't know how long that would be. Then he got distracted by thinking how it was possible for him to shiver.

Everything about this realm and his current state was shocking, and new, and different, and completely illogical. It would give him a headache if he was capable of having one. But what shocked Loki the most were the occasionally wandering souls.

They looked solid enough, but their faces were empty, their eyes sunken, their clothes mismatched, as if they lost the will to fix them at one point. They walked around aimlessly, as if they were looking for something and then forgot about it, or if they were waiting for someone who forgot about them. They weren't the ghouls or ghosts so often depicted with skeletal faces and melting flesh. They looked absolutely normal… save for the indifferent and dead stare. Can a soul lose its soul? Lose itself? Go mad?

Loki had been through many tortures and trials during his life. He had endured pain he thought he wouldn't survive. But this was the first time he truly felt fear. Fear he might become one of those wandering souls, forever not only trapped in this realm, but his mind and his will lost. A shadow of his former self, a being without purpose, barely existing.

If Loki had a heart it would've been pounding. _No,_ he thought to himself. _I will not just disappear into nothingness._ He, who always was three steps ahead, whose back up plans had back up plans, who could come up with a way out for everything. _Death won't be the last of me._

As he freaked out for a minute, his right hand warmed up. Loki needed to lie down, if only to find some sense of reassurance and comfort. He found a small crevice nearby and curled up inside of it, clutching his cape even closer to his being.

.-

Loki wasn't sure how long he had been in the tiny cave, there was no way of having any sense of time in this land, but he did feel a tad better with himself. He remembered Helheim having a gate that led to Muspelheim. If he managed to get there, he would escape his eternal damnation.

That idea spurred him on. If only he could find the way… Loki studied the mountains flanking one side of the land. It occurred to him that one end would fall to the sea, while the other would have to eventually lead to the frontier.

"Well, let's get walking then." Loki muttered.

First part was to get to the base of the mountains, then decide which way to go. It was a plan, at least, and he had eternity to fulfill it. His own sense of urgency was the only thing telling him to hurry up. To get out of there before his punishment caught up with him or he lost himself to the barren land.

It was a good thing he didn't have to stop for food or rest. Weird, but useful. Loki managed to reach the base of the mountains faster than he had predicted. By then, he had decided to take the left, as he had noticed the mountains were steeper and taller in that direction. Logic told him the closer the hills were to water, the smaller they would be. Of course, there was no logic in this realm, but he had to hold on to something. And if he was wrong, he could always turn around.

So left he went, keeping the mountains to his right, trying to avoid cracks and hills.

Loki walked.

And walked.

And walked.

How long has it been? Hours? Days? Weeks? The lack of ways to measure time was driving him _insane_. Sometimes he'd sing, or tell himself stories. Sometimes he'd get very vivid memories, that strangely enough made his right hand prickle uncomfortably. Some memories were painful, but they were _real_. Real is what he needed right now.

In the eternal dusk light, Loki saw something in the distance, right by the foot of the mountain. Large black spires that blended with the jagged edges of the rocks behind, long cylindrical towers with hollow windows and a balcony made of stone. A black crystal bridge led to a gate.

"Asgard." Loki gasped.

The building was a dark, cold replica of the Asgard palace.

He knew he had to be careful, but curiosity got the best of him. Slowly and cautiously he walked the bridge toward the entrance, covering his head with the cloak and willing it to be darker. He felt the windows had eyes upon him, something in the back of his mind telling him this was far more dangerous than he thought, but he couldn't point out exactly why.

There was no gate, just pillars on each side of the road. Loki took a few more steps toward the building. The eerie garden looked like Asgard too, but instead of living things, everything was made of stone, crystal and gems. There was an odd beauty to it, and Loki spent one too many minutes admiring it. His right hand was itching again.

"What are you doing here?!" Loki suddenly heard, and turned to see no other than his big (adopted) sister Hela.

 _Goddess of death, mistress of Hel. Of course!_

"I've come to visit." He deadpanned sarcastically, trying to hide his sudden shock. Hela just raised an eyebrow, clearly not pleased. Loki rolled his eyes and uncovered his neck, showing her the bruises. "I'm dead, why else would I be here?"

Hela smirked. "Who managed to kill you? I might send them a present."

Loki wasn't amused at all. "Thanos."

Hela's smirk turned to a disgusted scowl: she _knows_ the name, and knows the creature attached to that name. She knows him way more than she would ever admit.

"Hmm." Hela looked at Loki with curiosity, making him uncomfortable. "Do you want to stay dead?"

Loki nearly jumped in surprise. "What?"

"I am the goddess of death."

"I know that."

"So, do you wanna stay dead?"

Loki looked at Hela with half a smile. "I'm guessing you won't be helping your little brother out of the goodness in your heart, if you have one."

Hela laughed coldly. "I knew there was a reason why I liked you!" She started walking. "Come."

Loki rushed behind her. "What's the price, then?"

"You get revenge, I get revenge." She explained simply. "You live again and make sure to send that purple son of a beiskaldi here."

Loki studied her, rather amused. "I'm afraid to ask-"

"Then don't ask. Just say you accept." Hela stood by the doors of the castle. Loki pondered her offer for a few seconds.

"My goddess." He said with a mocking bow. "You might have gotten yourself a deal."

" _Might?_ " She said, raising an eyebrow. "You better say you accept, Loki. Your presence hasn't gone unnoticed around here, and while I don't meld with the business of the guardians-"

"Náströnd." Loki gulped.

"Yes." Hela said. "The guardians are looking for you, and whatever powers you have left, will be useless against them."

"I was merely curious about what your business with Thanos is, _sister_." Loki managed to hide his fear behind his usual snark.

"You're not curious, you want leverage, _Jotun_." Hela stated. "But you won't get it. Though, if you happen to mention my name to him, he might monologue the whole story." She added, clearly annoyed by the thought.

Loki bit the inside of his cheek. "Fine, you've got yourself a deal."

Hela smiled and entered the castle, Loki followed. The interior also looked like the palace of Asgard, down to the very throne. He wasn't surprised, and had the common sense not to mention it.

"There is one catch, and that brings me to the second part of my _offering_." Hela sat on the throne and Loki groaned loudly. "It's not my rule, little brother." Hela added with a cold smile. "There's only one thing strong enough to reverse death, and cannot help you cause I'm incapable of feeling it." She explained.

"Love." Loki smiled again in realization, but there were no signs of snark or sarcasm on his smile.

Hela nodded. "Someone must _love_ you back."

Loki's smile grew wider, the light of a promise long made but not forgotten shone in his eyes. "Don't worry about that."

Hela looked slightly thrown off. "Surely you aren't thinking about Thor."

Loki scoffed loudly as response. "As if…"

"Now _I'm_ curious." She said.

"Well, we do have time to share our _love_ stories…" Loki mused tentatively.

"Thanos' story is not one of love exactly." She spat, and changed the subject. "Whoever you think is coming to get you, better get here fast. I can offer you a certain amount of protection, which will delay the guardians from getting to you, but I am in no position to stop them if they succeed."

"I understand." Loki nodded. "But she will come, don't worry."

" _She?_ "

Loki smiled, but said nothing. They engaged in a staring contest, both dying to know more details about the other, but knowing anything they said could be used against them.

"Anyway," Hela was the first to break the silence. "You can stay here, I will know when _she_ comes and I will point you in the right direction." She said. "Now get out of my face, the blue is unnerving."

Loki turned around and left the throne room, looking for somewhere to lay low in the castle. Should he really trust Hela? Did she actually want Thanos dead? Well, it made sense that she wasn't able to leave Helheim, (again, Odin's doing). Having someone on the outside was beneficial for her. _And it goes both ways._ Loki was sure Hela would have some way to bring him back if he just ran away and didn't fulfill his part of the deal.

It would be hard, but he knew he wouldn't have to do it alone. And he wouldn't be dead. It was too good an opportunity to let it pass.

Loki walked the castle almost automatically, towards where his room should've been. It wasn't exactly like the one in Asgard, but the familiarity was enough to comfort him. He sat by the window, staring at the vast wasteland, knowing the only thing he could do right now was to wait. His right hand felt warmer, enough to change the cerulean color of his skin to pale white for a second.

 _Sigyn._


	2. Chapter 2

**Ch.2:** **I am done with my graceless heart**

Thanos' army was coming.

With Proxima Midnight and Cull Obsidian at its front, it clashed against the protective shield that kept Wakanda hidden. Sigyn just glared at the creatures from the distance, wanting nothing more than to cross that shield and kill them on the spot. She gripped the daggers in her hands, clenching her teeth.

 _They tortured Loki._

Sigyn had seen _everything_ in Loki's memories, she had shared his pain. She wished to inflict that pain, tenfold. Torture the creatures until they were nothing but boneless puppets, breathing just cause she allowed them to.

"We have blood to spare." Proxima said, giving a signal to the hovering crafts behind her.

The creatures flooded out of the ships like insects, and The Wakandan army stared in horror as they threw themselves at the forcefield. It didn't matter if they ended up without a limb or cut in half, that tiny opening allowed a few to go through.

Others started to go around the shield.

"Cap, if these things circle the perimeter and get in behind us… there's nothing between them and Vision."

"Then we better keep 'em in front of us."

Sigyn heard T'Challa's order to open the shield inside her head before she heard it on her earpiece. The swarm poured through the open section as if they were liquid.

The battle became a blur.

There was so much information around her, Sigyn had trouble focusing. Being able to see what would happen beforehand became a problem too, and she had to start filtering the information to keep herself safe, and trust her friends would do the same. She couldn't protect them all.

An electrical current hit the inside of her skull. "Son of a…" She flinched, almost falling to the floor while trying to deflect an attack.

Then, right by the opening of the force field, an axe came in flying, surrounded by lightning, knocking off and electrocuting several aliens.

 _Show off._

A bright light and a deafening sound broke the fight for a few seconds. Thor, joined by a racoon and a sentient tree creature, landed on the middle of the field.

"Bring me THANOS!"

Everyone watched Thor soar into the air and bring down his axe, lighting knocking down and frying everything around them. Sigyn again tried to protect midgardian soldiers from the electrical impacts.

Steve stood up and cleared a path to Thor, helping other fallen soldiers in his way.

"New hair cut?" Steve said as greeting.

"Noticed you've copied my beard." Thor said with a smile.

"Could we leave the bro-thery for later?" Sigyn interrupted. Thor turned to her startled.

They stared at each other for one second before Thor made the attempt to hug her, only to be stopped by a short sword to his throat.

"I'm-" He choked.

"I know." She said. "But I don't believe you."

Thor's face darkened. "Sigyn…"

"Aliens first." Sigyn said with a slight shake in her voice, before turning around and slashing another creature.

The fight got even worse. The very earth was shaking, as enormous machinery leveled the forest and crossed the forcefield. Sigyn felt Wanda before she saw her.

"You're not supposed to be here."

Wanda just gave her a meaningful look. Sigyn nodded curtly and ducked. Closing her eyes, she trying to locate all nearby allies, and projected energy shields on them. When she opened her eyes, Wanda saw them glowing gold. The red energy explosion that followed grabbed the machines and dragged them over the aliens, before the astonished looks of the soldiers. Sigyn shook her head, trying to get her focus back.

 _Why does my hand keep freezing?_

The alien army came back with a vengeance, the creature Proxima Midnight at their head, closing in on Wanda. Sigyn took a deep breath and closed her eyes, visions of another planet crossed her mind. Stephen Strange and Tony Stark fighting Thanos. The gauntlet already had four stones.

Natasha, Wanda and Okoye attacked Proxima Midnight, but Sigyn realized she was just a decoy. The Corvus Glaive alien was inside the tower, ready to take Vision.

Sigyn ran to the forest just as War Machine let everyone know in their earpiece that Vision had escaped. She arrived a few seconds before Steve did.

"I thought you were dead!" Steve said to the alien.

Sigyn didn't stop to make comments. _He tortured Loki too_. Jumping into action, Sigyn tuned her magic to Steve's moves, protecting him from the glaive weapon. In a calculated move, Sigyn dropped to her knees and slid under Corvus, her blade penetrating deep into the thick skin and striking the back of his knee. His blood felt like acid on her skin, but the move was successful. Corvur fell, his face and chest open by the claws of Steve's shield. Sigyn knelt on top of his chest, making the creature groan in pain.

"This is for my husband." She muttered, thrusting her blade under his neck until it went through his skull.

"I told you to go!" Steve said, pulling Vision to his feet.

"We don't trade lives, Captain." Vision retorted.

Sigyn stood up, trying to sense any incoming enemies and taking a breath to hastily heal whatever she could. Then, another vision attacked, making her head whirl. An exploding moon, falling bodies, Strange fighting Thanos. Stark fighting Thanos, almost getting his head crushed by the titan.

Then Stephen, trading his time stone for Tony's life.

 _No!_

 _We're in the endgame now._

"We're running out of time." She muttered, falling to her knees and holding her head.

Wanda came running to Vision's side. "Are you okay?"

Vision didn't answer. The same pain cracking Sigyn's skull in half made Vision cringe and wail. The rest of the team closed in on them. Steve knelt beside Sigyn.

"He's coming." Sigyn deadpanned, her eyes glowing gold and staring into nothing.

A heavy silence fell on the forest, a thrum of anticipation made the air thick enough to vibrate. A black portal opened in the clearing, and Thanos himself walked through. The gauntlet flaunted five stones and one empty space.

One by one, the team attacked Thanos, and one by one they were discarded like mere dolls. Sigyn wanted nothing more than to skewer Thanos like a boar, but the combined power of the stones interfered with her magic, sending her focus in all directions. She had to close her _mind_ to it and help Steve give Wanda and Vision time to destroy the last stone.

All they could do was to slow Thanos down. Sigyn used a trunk as leverage to jump up, and landed on the Titan's shoulder. Her moves seemed to slow down, just one swing to his neck and he's dead, but her arms wouldn't move. The gauntlet fist closed around her ankle and sent her flying against a tree. The pulse of magic coming from the stones depleted her own magic for a moment, causing some wounds to reappear and, having no protective shield on her, her ribs cracked on impact.

Out of breath and completely exhausted, Sigyn laid on the floor. Air wasn't reaching her lungs. Everything in her sight was golden, except for the glow of Wanda's magic. Sigyn felt Wanda's pain as the mind stone exploded and Vision lifeless body hit the ground. But it wasn't over…

 _The time stone._

"Get him-" Sigyn's words made no sound in the forest.

Even with her eyes closed, she saw Thanos pick up Vision's body and reverse time. The mind stone was restored, and he ripped it from Vision's head.

The gauntlet was complete.

Thanos took a moment to get used to the new power the gems gave him, but before he could make a move, a lightning stopped him on his tracks. Sigyn focused on the electricity, just to get a sense of direction.

 _Thor._

The only fixed point she could use as leverage was the axe. Stormbreaker was much powerful than Mjolnir, but its magic was familiar, something she already knew. It didn't counteract her own, in fact it blocked the effect of the gems enough for her to gather some of her powers back. She tried to stand up, but a sharp pain on her leg stopped her, and she fell back down. Tracking Stormbreaker, she willed her magic to help Thor, but going against the gauntlet was draining her too fast.

With a loud scream, Thor managed to thrust the axe into Thanos' chest.

"I told you, you die for that." Thor growled, sinking the axe deeper, dragging the metal plate with it.

"You should've-" Thanos gasped with a smirk. "You should've gone for the head."

 _SNAP!_

The magic blast coming from the gauntlet nearly knocked Sigyn's soul off her body. Or at least that's how it felt. For a few seconds, she saw _everything_ happening at the same time. A pull on her right hand brought her back and the pain split her head in half. She almost lost consciousness, and focused on breathing, no matter how bad her ribs were throbbing.

"What did you do?" Thor asked. "What did you do?!" Thor's voice echoed in the forest.

With the gauntlet destroyed, Sigyn was slowly able to focus again, but her eyes were still glowing gold. With shaky breaths she tried to sit up, flinching as her ribcage protested.

Thanos didn't say anything, apparently shocked by the destruction of the gauntlet. With a small wave, he summoned a portal and the darkness swallowed him.

"Where did he go?" Steve asked to a disoriented Thor.

"He did it…" Sigyn whispered, Steve and Thor looked at her.

Sigyn managed to sit up and drag one of her legs for support, the other one was bent on an odd angle and she couldn't move it. But she ignored the pain: there was something else vying or her attention. The screams started in her head before she heard them. She grabbed her head with both hands, as the yells seemed to bounce inside her brain. She felt sick, nauseated. She was either going to collapse or throw up. Or both.

"Steve?" Bucky was just joining them, but he never made it. His body crumbled to dust infront of their eyes.

"Oh, no…" Steve muttered in shock.

Sigyn sat on the floor still holding her head, _knowing_ people all over the world, all over the universe were turning to ash. Wanda, T'Challa, Sam, Groot… Another vision hit her, of Stephen Strange disintegrating too.

 _There was no other way._

Sigyn rocked back and forth on the floor, frustration clouding her mind. They had been defeated. _I failed to avenge Loki_. She already felt shattered inside, empty, dissociated, disoriented. _Lost._ She couldn't even bring herself to stand up, heavy with the grief of the whole universe.

She wished to die, to end it all right there, to crumble to dust like her friends and make the pain end.

 _I will go to Hel and find you there._

The temperature on her right hand dropped. Sigyn stared at her freezing hand as it turned to light blue.

 _Loki._


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch.3:** **All of the ghouls come out to play**

A soft rumble deep on the earth woke Loki from his trance. Again, he cursed the lack of ways to measure time. He couldn't know how long he had been staring out the window. He was positive he dozed off or at least spaced out several times, only to be brought back by the incessant tingling and prickling of his right hand. At least he knew now that his hand acting up was Sigyn's doing, how or why? It had yet to be seen.

The rumble brought a shift in the air and Loki felt a shiver run down his back. A sharp electric shock pulled his hand, as if it wanted to yank it off. Loki instinctively pulled against it. His skin flickered pale white for a second, then back to dark blue, and the buzzing subsided.

He didn't have time to focus on his hand anymore, as _something_ started sprouting on the barren land. Small shapeless lumps seeping up as if water was saturating the terrain.

It took a while, but the globs took the shapes of their former selves, and looked around confused. Many creatures of different sizes started reacting to their new reality. Desperate screams echoed in the land, cold and sharp screams, gut wrenching screams. Loki's blood would've chilled if he had any. Some beings fell to the knees in some form of prayer, while others curled up in themselves and cried. Loki watched in horror, realizing a great number of creatures had died in a split second… but how? Wait-

 _Did he do it?_

Hastily, he walked to the throne room, but Hela wasn't there. Then he made way to the high observatory of the palace, the one place they could see all of the land.

Hela was there, hands of the rail, watching.

"He actually did it." Hela muttered, probably more to herself.

"Thanos?"

If Hela was startled, she didn't show. "Yes."

There was a silent understanding of it: Thanos had successfully wiped out half the population of the known multiverse. Loki remembered reading about different afterlife beliefs, and how souls could _choose_ the preferred dimension, or at least one close enough to what they believed in. Funny thing about the so called life after death: they were all real, just not how they would imagine. A million different Valhallas and Helheims, being filled by Thanos' genocide. Souls all over the multiverse transitioning planes. The amount of energy it was taking threatened to crack the fabric of reality and Loki's magic, as weak as it was, could feel it.

"This could be bad news for you, Jotun." Hela said side-eyeing him.

Loki shook his head slightly, panic setting in the pit of his stomach, and clutched his right hand. _Sigyn cannot be dead._

"The deaths happen at random, and no magic is strong enough to counteract it. So if whoever you thought was coming for you…" There was a slight smirk on Hela's words, but not glee, just certainty.

"I appreciate the lack of sentiment." Loki chuckled.

"Death is inevitable. In time, it comes for everyone. But it's not the end." She said criptically. "That's what that old fool could never understand."

Loki realized she was talking about Thanos, but said nothing.

"Before he knew of the stones, he sought to strike a deal with Death to carry out his mission." Hela spoke plainly, almost bored.

Loki clutched his cape and waited for her to continue.

"I was only one of those he asked for help." She said. "I wasn't born the Goddess of Death, I was _chosen_ as such for my actions." She added. "Thanos traveled many dimensions to find Death. When he found me, I refused to help."

"Any particular reason why?" Loki asked tentatively.

"His mind is so small and simple, he couldn't grasp the true meaning behind what he was asking." Hela just stared at the land, at the countless souls and their despair, as if that image would explain. "So he betrayed me. He's the one who made Odin imprison me." She said coldly, her hands gripping the rail of the balcony. "Not himself of course. He has a legion of minions, brainwashed to do his dirty job while he hides, biding his time."

Loki didn't need to hear about that: he had been one of those brainwashed subjects, nothing more than a boar for slaughter.

"I didn't go mad, they _made_ me look mad." She deadpanned. "It was the perfect timing: Odin, wanting to be a benevolent king, took the bait…" She scoffed. "Everything I was, everything he made of me, was not longer useful." Bitterness was evident in Hela's voice.

"Yet he sits as ruler in Valhalla…" Loki said disdainfully, having more than enough reasons to hate Odin himself. "Too late to fix that, unfortunately."

"Well, you could go to Valhalla, just to annoy him." Hela said with a small sarcastic chuckle. "That is, if you can get out of here."

"I will." Loki stated quickly, determined to ignore the panic that had settled inside of him since he realized what Thanos had done.

" _She_ might be dead."

"She is not." _She has to be alive._

"Your hope is almost laughable."

"It's not hope, it is knowledge."

Loki focused very intently on his right hand. Heat spread through his fingers, sending hot waves to his palm and wrist. The golden thread flickered on his skin, and he showed Hela. _She's alive._ A wave of relief washed over him.

"A soul bond!" She said, intrigued by the spell. "I hadn't seen one that overcame death in many lifetimes."

Hela's half smile was unnerving, but of course Loki wouldn't let that show. Wordlessly, she took Loki's free wrist and muttered a spell of her own. A dark green smoke latched to his left wrist making his whole hand go obsidian black for a second.

"You've bound me." He said.

"Until you fulfill your end of the deal." Hela conceded.

"Making sure Thanos gets here." Loki smirked at the choice of words.

"Killing him is the easy part." She mused, correctly guessing what Loki was thinking. "Sending him _specifically_ to Hel…"

"I'll come up with something." Loki shrugged it off, he would tackle that problem when he came to it.

The earth rumbled and quaked again, drawing Hela's attention away from Loki.

"They're coming." Hela stated.

Loki turned to see a black mass coming from the opposite edge of the land, moving as a cloud or smoke would do. At first it wasn't clear, but the closer they go, Loki noticed it wasn't one individual entity, but a swarm of dark beings, their bodies made of black smoke with hollow white eyes. Some of them carried black gleaming weapons that they seemed to be summoning out of the mist. They hovered a few inches off the ground, moving so fast that Loki realized they could teleport small distances. Some would turn into shapeless wisps of cloud to regain their forms half a mile after.

 _The guardians._

Most of the newly arrived souls were left alone. But the ones targeted by the wisps were in for some panic. Some souls just dropped to the floor, shaking in panic while the dark clouds consumed them. Others tried to make a run for it, fur before they got to far another wisp would block their path. Or maybe it was the same, moving like a cloud over the ground or teleporting.

Souls coming to realize their punishment had begun shrieked in a high pitch that would've frozen Loki's blood if he had any. The guardians were merciless with them. Many ended up with several weapons and staffs skewering their bodies, and the wisps would carry them by the protruding sticks, as if they were boars for a fest. They could not die, they could only exist in pain.

In all the chaos, Loki had almost forgotten they should be coming for him too. And still he had the time to be amused by the thought of the army of guardians being really annoyed by the sudden surplus of souls. _They will be working some extra hours today._

"Now is when you should make your escape." Hela said, motion Loki to follow her. "Your first approach to the Muspelheim gate wasn't as farfetched. But you weren't going to find it."

Loki looked at Hela, confused.

"Think, little brother. Where is Muspelheim?" She rolled her eyes, smirking as if the answer was obvious.

"Muspelheim is a volcano." Loki muttered. "Underground… The gate is underground. Of course." He said, almost slapping himself.

Hela trudged to the lower levels of the palace with Loki behind her. A new sense of urgency grew inside of Loki after seeing all those condemned souls. If only there was a way to tell Sigyn all this! There was no doubt in his mind that she would come to save him, but time was of the essence. She had to be at the gate when he got there, she was the only one who could pull it out before the guardians got him.

Under the vault of the palace there was another chamber, smaller and colder. Its granite walls were hard, but smooth.

"THis is as far as I can help you." Hela said plainly.

"I'm guessing you're not one for tearful goodbyes." Loki smirked.

Hela laughed coldly. "You know? If Odin wasn't the biggest bacraut in existence, I could have tolerated you as a sibling."

Loki had to laugh at that. He gave Hela a significant nod, before entering the catwalk. There was a small chirring sound, and Loki turned back just to see the same rock closing the entryway.

For a fraction of a second, he panicked, thinking Hela might have tricked him and led him into a trap, but it made no sense. And he had no time to panic either: he had to get to Muspelheim.

Loki took a deep breath and concentrated hard on Sigyn, until his hand started to burn.

 _Helheim._

 _Muspelheim._

 _The gate._

Several images bombarded Sigyn's mind. Images of death and punishment, of wandering souls and barren lands.

 _Helheim._

 _Muspelheim._

 _The gate._

A swirl of darkness engulfed her, cold and lifeless. There was no wind, no air, no sun. Only an eternal dusk, and fear. Her breathing picked up as she clutched her chest and felt no heartbeat.

 _Helheim._

 _Muspelheim._

 _The gate._

Her hand was freezing cold, it was turning blue. Dark markings on the surface she immediately recognized as Jotnar markings.

 _Loki?_

" _Sigyn?_ "

A deep broken voice pulled Sigyn away from her visions, and the pain all over her body came back with a vengeance. As did her heartbeat, drumming in her ears. _I am not dead then._

"Sigyn, please wake up." The same voice pleaded.

Taking a deep breath, Sigyn blinked awake. Her muscles were sore, but the broken bones had mended. Her magic was working properly again. She flinched as she sat up to face Thor, but her eyes wouldn't meet his yet.

"How long was I out?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and braiding her hair with magic.

"Only a couple of hours." Thor replied. "You passed out right after-"

"Right." She nodded curtly, making Thor stop. "Where is everyone else?"

"Healing rooms."

"I should go help." Sigyn tried to stand up, but Thor stopped her.

"No, you need to rest." He said, and pushed her back to the bed.

"I don't have time for that…" A small magic blast pushed Thor back, and Sigyn stood up.

Her head was pounding and her chest felt heavy. The emptiness inside of her was still too painful, but her dream- Now Sigyn understood what Loki meant about hope being terrifying and annoying. Her energy was low, depleted it to heal herself while unconscious. She had to close her eyes and take a deep breath not to lose her balance, but Thor had to hold her in her spot.

"We all need a break, you do too…"

"No," she shook her head violently. "I need to get moving." Sigyn pushed Thor away again.

"Sigyn, I know you're grieving, but-"

Sigyn glared at Thor, making him stop. "Oh, this is the part where you sell you case of revenge?" She said with a scowl. Thor huffed, but couldn't stop her from reading his mind. "Follow you halfway through the universe to kill Thanos?" She chuckled sadly. "No, I have other priorities now… Loki needs me."

Thor looked at her confused. "He's-?"

"Dead." She spat. "He's in Helheim. I'm guessing despite everything he did Odin still kept him out of Valhalla." She added with contempt. " _Dickface._ "

"How do you know this?"

Sigyn lowered her gaze. "He- showed…" Her hand was normal now, her own color and form, but the invisible bond in her wrist was freezing.

Thor got close to her again, hands on her shoulders. "Sigyn, if he's dead, you shouldn't-"

"We're bound, Thor." Sigyn cut him off again. "Loki and I have been magically bound since we got married." She squirmed away from Thor's grasp, and muttering a short spell, made the golden thread visible in her skin. "This is the bond, done by Master Thyra, in the most ancient of Asgard's shrines."

"I don't know what-"

"Of course you don't." She mumbled. "It's hard to explain even if you have some knowledge of seidr. And you, oaf, have none." Thor gave her an offended look, that she decidedly ignored. "Our souls are joined, it is what allows us to share magic, memories, conversations, track each other down… _This_ is how I found him when Odin sent him away to be tortured." Sigyn clenched her fist. "We've lived inside each other's heads for centuries. The only thing he could never borrow was the mind reading."

"That actually explains a lot." Thor said with his eyebrows raised.

"I have to go to Helheim." She stated, and her hand shimmered blue for a moment.

"Sigyn, try and listen to reason first. If he's dead and he's on Helheim… It would be suicide." Thor offered, trying to soothe her down, but she wouldn't have it. "I loved Loki too, but-"

"No, you didn't!" Sigyn snarled at him. "He was always the spare. Less, even for you! Don't tell me now how much you loved Loki, cause you never did! You just wanted him when he was useful, when he followed your steps."

Thor was thrown off by the cruelty in her voice. "That's not-"

"Do you want me to show you?" She interrupted with a scoff. "Because I actually can take you down memory lane and show you all the times you _loved_ him."

Her frustration was an open floodgate. Blame it on the grief, but she wanted someone else to feel the tiniest amount of the pain she was feeling. If that someone was to be Thor, she would break him if she had to.

"Everything you've said, about loving him, respecting him, mourning him… why didn't you tell him when he was alive? Why did your love only appear when you thought him lost? Why did you realize you loved him when there was nobody else left?" Sigyn stared Thor down. He felt unnaturally small under her glare. "Why the only time you said anything remotely close to _how much_ Loki meant to you was as part of a ruse to hurt him?"

Each accusation was a dagger on Thor's heart. But he couldn't deny it: the shame and truth of Sigyn's words were not something he could make excuses for.

"I _know_ I can bring him back, and I _will_ bring him back." She declared. "If you want to make amends, have the chance to say all this to his face and actually apologize, you will help me. If you want to hide and run half a universe away, claiming revenge in his name, you will be nothing more than the coward I always took you for."

Sigyn took a step back, only now noticing the tears that were streaming down her face. She gripped her right wrist in her left hand and held her breath, as if holding on to the one last thing she had left of Loki.

"Killing Thanos will only help you." She said slowly, her voice dripping with venom. "But that's what you've always done, isn't it?"

Thor took too long to answer that, and Sigyn stormed out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch.4: Love became an act of defiance**

Sigyn spent the rest of the evening in the facilities, tending to the injured soldiers. Shuri was keeping busy too, and Sigyn didn't have to read her mind to know she was trying to work through her shock. At least she and Bruce had something to busy themselves with. Others, like Steve or Natasha, were helplessly useless.

Most comms were down. Fury and whatever was left of SHIELD was unreachable. The little news being broadcasted showed the chaos. Cities on fire, thousands of accidents, riots in the streets. People demanding answers. Answers that severed governments and institutions didn't have.

Steve wouldn't stop pacing around, his mind working overtime. He wanted to go out and give some sense of stability, re-establish order, tell people it would be okay, that they could fix it. But there was no fixing this, and going over and over around it wasn't helping either. Meanwhile, Natasha and Rhodey were trying to contact anyone who might be able to help. The raccoon, Rocket, was tinkering away with spare parts he found at the lab.

The only quiet one was Thor, standing silently on a corner, guarding Sigyn's every move.

Her words were still echoing in his mind. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, she was right, and every justification his head came up with sounded too poor an excuse.

The dense calm of the lab was suddenly broken by shattering glass and a loud cry. Shuri broke down crying, throwing lab equipments against the windows and screens. Sigyn was by Shuri's side in a flash, and held her down, using her magic to make her fall asleep.

"She's just asleep, general." Sigyn said before General Okoye could say anything. "She needs the rest." She added. Wordlessly, other guard came and took the princess in her arms. "You still have a royal family and a kingdom to overlook, general. You haven't failed you duty."

General Okoye took a deep breath and straightened her posture. With a sharp nod, she signaled the guard to follow her and take the princess to the royal quarters.

"I guess mind reading isn't necessarily a bad thing, if used properly." Steve said, standing squarely behind her. "You told her exactly what she needed to hear."

"Not everything is mind reading, Steve." Sigyn turned to him. "Sometimes all you need is being a little observant, Natasha could tell you the same thing. Some empathy doesn't hurt either."

He rolled his eyes and looked down with a small smile. "Everytime we talk I feel like you're chastising me."

"Everytime we talk is you wanting to ask something of me and not having the courage to do it." Sigyn cocked her head to the side. "And that wasn't the mind reading either. You're a terrible liar."

"Natasha would say that too." Steve leaned on the wall. "The first day we met- you did something to my head." He started without looking at her.

"I like to use the word _unravel_." She said in a soft voice, and stood in front of him. "Unfortunately, the answers you seek are not inside your head for me to read them."

When Steve threw his head back, it made a small sound when it hit the wall. "I have no idea what to do. How do I even go after a genocidal maniac who could be anywhere in the universe?" He sighed deeply. "I can't punch my way out of this one." He added with a sad snigger. "Makes me wish Tony was here, but I don't even know if he's alive."

Sigyn gasped loudly. "Tony!" She closed her eyes, trying to remember what Stephen Strange had made her see.

In the chaos and confusion of the battle, she hadn't noticed the importance of it. But now…

 _We're in the end game now._

"Sigyn, what-?" Steve asked, confused by her reaction.

She didn't say anything, and speedwalked to the comms room, where Natasha and Rhodey were still, unsuccessfully, trying to gather intelligence.

"Thor! Banner!" She shouted in her way.

 _We're in the end game now. It was the only way._

 _How did I not notice it before?_

"Tony is alive." She blurted out as soon as everyone was in the room.

"How do you know that?" Bruce asked.

"Cause I _saw_ him. You need to get him back." Sigyn declared. "Look. It's a complicated story, but you have to trust me on this one." She said this looking at Steve. "A legion of sorcerers exists on Earth, they have protected it from mystical threats for centuries."

"Wizards. On Earth." Steve said this plainly, as if nothing was able to surprise him anymore.

"Told you it would sound crazy." She shrugged. "Anyway. Stephen Strange was one of those sorcerers and I was working with him before all this happened. Thor and Bruce have met him before…" Both nodded. "He was the guardian of the Time Stone. Right before Thanos came to Earth for the Mind Stone, Stephen gave him the Time Stone in exchange for Tony's life."

"Tony wouldn't have let that happen." Steve shook his head.

"It wasn't his call to make." Sigyn pointed out. "Look, there is a reason why Stephen saved Tony's life, and why he made me see it before he died. I was here on Midgard, barely coping with the battle to notice it then. Tony must be the key to reverse all this."

"But we don't even know where he is." Natasha intervened.

"I need something of him." Sigyn rushed. "Anything. I can try and track him down, build a tracking spell. Get something that belongs to him."

Bruce pulled a flip phone from his jacket and handed it over. "He never got to use it, but… he did keep it with him."

Steve's feelings were right between smiling and crying out in frustration. It was the phone he had sent him a few years before. Everything that happened back then felt like another lifetime.

Sigyn took the phone and put it on the table in front of her. She was about to cast a spell, but Thor's hand on hers stopped her.

"Sigyn, your energy is still low. You nearly passed out a few times while healing those soldiers." Thor's voice was low and full of concern. Sigyn looked at him, she knew he had been watching her since they left her room, but she was at least surprised to know _how much_ he had watched her. "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Yes."

Thor let go of her hand, but didn't go too far. Just in case.

Sigyn put her hand over the device and closed her eyes. A golden light enveloped the phone, making it hum and vibrate. Her breath picked up and her hand shook with the effort. Thor stood behind her when he saw her swaying in her spot. The phone levitated to her hand and she closed her fingers around it.

"Thor, I need the bifrost." She said suddenly in a voice that didn't sound like hers. Her hand and the phone were still glowing gold, as her eyes were. "Steve, you should come with us."

The three of them walked outside. Sigyn grabbed Thor's wrist. Warmth spread through his arm and hand as he gripped Stormbreaker.

The rainbow lights appeared with a choir of thunder, and Sigyn, Thor and Steve were yanked from Earth.

.-

As soon as they landed, Sigyn dropped the phone and nearly fell herself, if it weren't for Thor grabbing her. Steve looked around confused, his head still spinning from the interstellar trip.

"Where are we?" Steve asked.

"Titan." Sigyn said, but it didn't really explain anything.

Thor and Steve looked around the devastated planet. Sigyn grabbed the phone again and told them to follow her. She could sense Thanos' presence and the lingering power of the stones. It threw her tracking spell a bit off, and drained part of her magic. Thor had to stop her from falling several times before they got to a gigantic crater.

"This is fresh." Sigyn said, again not explaining much. "Tony is here."

Steve took a few steps up a large rock and looked around. "Over there." He pointed out. "I see a ship."

Sigyn tried to walk, but she kept faltering. Against her will, Thor picked her up and carried her, following Steve to the ship he had seen.

All of the sudden, Sigyn leapt off Thor's hold and tackled Steve to the ground. A sonic blast flew over their heads, Thor got Stormbreaker ready, but Sigyn stopped him.

"Tony Stark!" She shouted as she got back up helped by Steve.

Between the dust and the debris, two figures moved toward them. Steve smiled with a sigh of relief when he recognized Tony in one of the shapes.

"Well this is… unexpected." Tony said warily.

"We're not an illusion, Tony Stark. We're really here." Sigyn replied, having read his mind.

"And you are?" Tony asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Oh, this is Sigyn," Thor announced. "Princess of Asgard and my brother's wife."

Tony was thrown off. "Tell me you have more than _one_ brother."

"No, he doesn't." Sigyn shook her head and glared a Thor. "I am Loki's wife. But that's completely irrelevant at the moment."

"She's alright." Steve added. "I'm really happy to see you, Tony." He smiled, patting Tony's shoulder affectionately.

"Likewise, cap." Tony looked at Steve. None of them said anything else, but Sigyn could feel the relief on both parts. "By the way, this is my new friend, Nebula, daughter of Thanos."

Tony gestured at the blue alien standing by his side, who was still holding a sonic blaster towards them. Steve stiffened and got defensive. Nebula noted the change in his stance and pointed the blaster at him.

"Woah, stand down, soldiers." Tony stood in between them. "We're in the same boat now."

Explanations going back and forth weren't something Sigyn wanted to hear. They briefly caught up on the whereabouts of the team that rescued Thor after the asgardian cruiser exploded. Steve questioned Nebula's motivations, but Thor was the one to intervene in her favor, having met her sister Gamora before. Thor also told her at least one of them was still alive.

"And it had to be the little rat." Nebula scowled.

"You can sort this out later." Sigyn cut their bickering and thrust the phone on Tony's hand. "You all need to get back to Earth now."

"Well, there is a ship right there and my new friend here knows how to pilot it." Tony said with a tight smile.

"Thor can get you back home." Sigyn ignored them. "I am taking the ship."

"No, you ain't." Nebula pointed the sonic blaster at her. "That ship is mine now."

"I don't have time for this shit." Sigyn muttered, and blasted the big gun away with a pulse of magic. "Thor, get them to Earth, now." She demanded.

Steve was confused, Tony was looking at her blankly. Thor looked like he wanted to say something and couldn't as Sigyn sprinted to the spacecraft. Nebula tried to attack Sigyn, but every pulse of her guns seemed to bounce off her, and everytime she tried to physically attack, she would be sent flying several feet before she even touched her.

Sigyn was tired, the remnants of magic from the stones made her seidr hard to summon and control, the energy of her attacks getting unpredictable. Steve and Tony tired to protect Nebula and stopping her from attacking again, but the alien woman was relentless.

Sigyn made it to the ship, and limped around the control room. Nebula caught up and charged at her, trying to prevent her from firing up the vessel. Sigyn rolled her eyes, and smashed Nebula against the wall, paralyzing her with magic.

"Stop attacking me, luphomoid." Sigyn snarled. "I know you seek revenge, but your best chance is to go to Earth. They will need all the information you can give them and they will help you."

"I don't need help." Nebula spat, trying to overcome the invisible force crushing her to the wall.

"Yes, you do. I can see in your head what happened when you went after Thanos by yourself." Sigyn added, staring her down. Nebula gulped hard, a shiver of fear running down her back.

"Sigyn, let her go." Thor barged in the room, followed by Steve and Tony. "Let them take the ship." His voice was low and firm, like his grip on Stormbreaker.

"Is that a threat?" She smirked at him, and went back to check on the ship's panel.

"No," Thor swallowed. "I'm coming with you. To Helheim."

Sigyn stopped fiddling with the controls and turned to stare at Thor in disbelief. "You're being serious."

It wasn't a question, and Thor realized she was reading his mind. He nodded. Sigyn let go of the spell that held Nebula against the wall. Steve caught her before she attacked again.

"Rogers, think you can fly this thing?" Sigyn asked, managing finally to get the ship going.

"C'mon, blue." Tony soothed Nebula. "You help us, we help you and we all get revenge."

Nebula was still glaring at Sigyn, but she nodded curtly and Steve let go of her. "Piloting the ship is easy, finding the terran planet in the maps could be a nuisance." She said.

"I can help with that!" Tony chimed with a smile. "This tech is amazing!" He muttered, getting into the ship's mapping system.

Steve turned to Thor. "We could use your help too."

"We will come back, my friend." Thor put his hand on Steve's shoulder. "But there is something we must take care of first."

"Whatever it is, don't die. We need you… both of you." Steve said with a significant nod in Sigyn's direction.

Sigyn didn't say anything. She left the control room and snatched two electronic helmets on her way out.

"Sigyn, what-?" Thor said, going after her as they left the ship. "Why do we need these?" He lowered his head, allowing her to put the device behind his ear.

"Because we must take a little detour before we go to Helheim." She explained, pulling on Thor's arm to get away from the ship as it took off. "Close your eyes, Thor. I need you to focus in the exact moment when the asgardian cruiser exploded."

Thor stammered, but didn't question her request. He took a deep breath and thought of that moment. Several images flashed in front of his eyes, including Loki's death. Sigyn's hold on his wrist tightened, he could feel her magic traveling through her skin, along with the heartbreaking sorrow she felt.

"The bifrost, Thor." She said with a broken voice.

Thor held Stormbreaker over his head and summoned the bridge. In a flash, they were floating on space, and they activated the helmets. Sigyn held on to Stormbreaker, helping Thor steer it around the cloud of debris that once was the Asgardian vessel. They silently swam through the cloud, Sigyn's magic found focus with the axe, and kept them safe from any heavy objects that swirled their way. Thor had to close his eyes, not wanting to see the wreckage, for he knew more than a few hundred bodies were floating there, lost for all eternity.

"Say a prayer for them, Thor, it will make you feel better." Sigyn offered when she sensed his discomfort.

They were floating around for seemingly a long time. It was hard for Sigyn to concentrate in Loki when she could feel violent death all around her. At least Thanos was in possession of only two stones when he destroyed the ship, so the lingering magic was weak.

Stormbreaker hummed softly under her hand, calming her down, aiding her in projecting her magic outwards, searching for Loki's body. The axe was powerful, its familiar magic helped restore her energy levels. A flash and a shadow pulled her in the right direction.

"There he is…" She breathed out at last, tears filling her eyes. She could still recall the pressure in her throat and how his life force slowly slipped away from her.

It wasn't the blue skin nor the green clothes what gave him away. Not even the black mane of hair floating in the void. It was the unnatural position his neck was bent, all the way to his back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ch. 5: I was beginning to lose my grip**

Sigyn didn't know if her magic was pulling Loki's corpse to her or if it was pushing her ahead. But it didn't really matter to her. Her hand slipped from Stormbreaker as she reached forward to grab the body. Nervous, Thor took hold of the back of her leather vest to steady them together. She didn't even notice.

Thor wasn't able to look, but Sigyn had to. As she pulled Loki's body into her arms it was impossible for her not to look.

Loki looked and felt frail. Here in space, he weighed nothing. Moving him into her arms was easy. For some reason, he reminded her of their twins. So fragile and small they were when they were born. So fragile and small they were when they had found their bodies… Sigyn closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. No matter how much time would pass, the memory of the twins death would remain forever fresh and painful. She felt tears spring, the lack of gravity making them hover in her eyelids: save from the blue skin, Loki looked exactly like Narfi when they had found him.

Most of Loki's body was fairly covered with clothes, except for a few tattered edges around his upper arms and his shredded cape. Where it wasn't covered, his blue skin was frozen and shriveled. Several burns and scratches were evident in his hands and face. His eyes were still open, red and bloodshot, staring into the void. Trickles of dried and frozen blood stuck around his nostrils and eyes. His half closed lips were purple and burst open in several places. Missing chunks of hair made his scalp visible. The worst part was his neck, the bruises circling his windpipe, the way it bent backwards.

Sigyn flinched, still feeling the ghost of pain around her own neck. Her vision was blurred with tears, so she let her hands do the job to try and straighten his neck. As a healer, she had mended bones many times before, but this was different. This was Loki. And she couldn't risk doing any more damage if her plan was to work out.

It was a small relief to realize his trachea wasn't broken. His spine, instead, was busted.

The vertebrae creaked and grated as she moved them, slowly realigning them, pushing all the bit and pieces of the fractured bones where they were supposed to be and holding them in place with magic.

Thor couldn't bring himself to watch what Sigyn was doing. No matter how many very gruesome deaths he had seen in battle, the memory of Loki being thrown at his feet like a lifeless puppet was too fresh. This was the 3rd time Thor had watched his brother die, and it didn't get any easier. It wasn't supposed to get easier, he thought. Thor had been so angry at Loki both times he found out he wasn't really dead. This time, though, he wished Loki was faking it. He wouldn't even be mad about it.

"He never faked his death, Thor!" Sigyn spat suddenly, her voice shaking and broken through the comms in Thor's helmet. "He actually _wanted_ to die when he fell from the bifrost!"

"Would you stop doing that?" Thor growled.

"I wish! But your thoughts are too loud… and I'm-" She sighed. "I can't control it, not now…"

Her magic had been haywire for days now. More specifically, since Loki died. Thor knew this, and didn't really know how to help her with it. He swallowed hard.

"What about Svartalfheim?" Thor finally looked at Loki. His blue face and reminded him of what happened on the dark planet.

"That was probably my fault." Sigyn muttered. "When that wretched creature impaled him-" She stopped and gulped hard. _I wasn't going to let him die._ "Loki didn't count on the wound healing, but it did, and I could show you the scar." Her hand touched the edge of Loki's ribcage over his clothes. "The only thing he did was to take advantage of the situation."

Thor nodded, though Sigyn didn't see him. Everything that happened afterwards, Thor already knew. It was a bittersweet feeling, realizing the only time Odin had said or done something to validate him, it was actually Loki in disguise.

Maybe Odin wasn't right all the time after all…

"His neck looks a lot better." He muttered.

"Open communication is definitely not your family's forte." Sigyn said with a sad chuckle.

Taking a deep and shaky breath, Sigyn circled Loki's neck with her left hand and grabbed on to Stormbreaker with her right hand. She concentrated and called for Loki again, until her hand went blue.

"Take us to Muspelheim, Thor."

Thor didn't question her request, and held on to her waist. The crackle of lightning buzzed before the bifrost swallowed them.

Their landing on Muspelheim was less than optimum. Loki's body hit the floor violently, dragging Sigyn, who wasn't about to let go of his neck, down with it. She checked on Loki's neck with her magic and put a small forcefield around it. Thor got rid of his electronic helmet and looked around.

The land of the Fire Giants was as he remembered it: volcanic rock, lava flows and the occasional sturdy leafless shrub. The only light in the cavern system that was Muspelheim came from the rivers of molten rock. The smell of sulfur and smoke made his nose itch.

"What now?" He asked.

Sigyn was sitting on the floor, she had removed her helmet too. "We go to Helheim's Gate." She pointed to a cavern nearby. "And no, there was no way you could take us directly to Helheim."

"Why not?"

"Because we are not dead." She stood up. "This is as close as we could be."

Thor nodded curtly, and observed Loki's body on the floor. Without a word, he hung his axe on his back and took Loki's body into his arms. Sigyn bit her lip, but said nothing. She walked into the cave, making a small golden sphere hover over her shoulder so they could see their path. Thor followed her closely, carefully cradling Loki's body in his arms.

It was a while before the rock passages they were walking through opened to a massive rock vault. The lava flows were abundant enough to light its pillars and its rugged roof. Sigyn disposed of the golden orb.

"We're here." She said, studying a very special rock formation.

The difference in the material was not blatant, but still evident. The regular volcanic rock was porous and harsh, almost warm to the touch. This rock was smooth, and shiny, its edges looked sharp against the orange light. It seemed to build an entrance into nothingness. But Sigyn could see the slight difference in the ground, the faint line where Muspelheim ended and Helheim began.

Thor could not spot the difference, as it was imperceptible to almost all living beings. But it was there: the border between the realm of the living and the realm of the dead was written in the mantle.

"Are you sure?" Thor asked, as he carefully put Loki's body on the floor.

In lieu of an answer, Sigyn concentrated on Loki until her arm turned blue, and stuck her hand in between the arch, going through the seemingly solid rock as if it were smoke. There was something pushing her outwards, some invisible force keeping her in the land of the living, where she belonged. When she got her hand back, black wisps of smoke swirled from her fingers.

"You said only the dead can enter Helheim." Thor gulped slowly.

"I'm already dead." She pointed at Loki. Thor stared at her, confused. "The bond, Thor. I can use it to - _die_. Without actually dying… or at least I hope it works."

"And if it doesn't work?" Thor's voice quivered a bit.

"It has to."

Sigyn took Loki's tattered cape and wrapped it around her body. As faint as it was, it still held Loki's scent. The familiarity made it easier for her to gather and focus her magic, and cloak herself with Loki's death. The blue of Loki's jotun form that had been enveloping her hand spread through her skin and over her body, giving her an eerie blue aura.

A low rumble made the ground quake, and startled them both. Thor looked around, his axe at the ready.

"Our presence has not gone unnoticed." Sigyn said, a shiver running down her spine. "Please, keep him safe."

Thor nodded. " _You_ be safe. And come back."

Sigyn stood by Helheim's Gate and concentrated hard on Loki again. Her heart, which had been thumping furiously, seemed to slow down, grow weak, barely enough to keep her alive. Her eyes darkened, tendrils of smoke seemed to reach for her from the gate. The mist at the entrance cleared out, and she could see the obsidian rock of the tunnels of Helheim. Sigyn took a deep breath and held it, walking into the cloud.

With a little resistance, darkness swallowed her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch.6:** **We were reaching in the dark**

Loki had been walking through the endless maze of caverns for a long time. He had been made aware of yet another weird thing about being dead, something he hadn't realized when he was out in the open. Eyes needed light to see, but his eyes didn't work like that anymore. Here inside the caves, with no light source at all, he saw everything clear as day.

It was an advantage, but he could still get lost in the cavern system. He had gone too far to remember his way back. It was his right hand that served as a compass, guiding him through tunnels and crevices with slight changes of temperature. He knew Sigyn was behind it and kept reaching for her in his mind, trusting she would guide him to the gate, and trusting she would be there waiting for him.

More than once, he felt terrible for expecting this from her, cause he knew she would deliver. She would always save him. Master Thyra's words resonated in his mind: _I've known for a long time Sigyn would be your choice. She will be your salvation too._ It seemed a promise made many lifetimes ago, but Sigyn never failed to fulfill. And what had he done for her in return? Tricked her. Forced her into a life she didn't want. Got her almost executed, banished. Brought her nothing but pain. Once there was a time when they had everything, and it was his fault that they lost it.

Maybe he should stay in Helheim, accept his punishment and let her live the life he took from her. Or maybe he should stop reaching for her, find his own way out and her let go. Though if she found out that he tried to get past her, Sigyn would probably smack him. That thought made him smile.

The small tunnel he had been treading opened to a massive stone vault. Its high rock ceiling had cracks that led to the surface, and Loki could see the dark orange color of Helheim's sky. Small hot springs made fog hover on the surface and swirl on the irregular pillars. Loki sighed contently. Muspelheim couldn't be that far.

Suddenly, his right hand went scorching hot. At first he thought it was because of the proximity to the gates, but the heat spread through his whole body and his skin shimmered from blue to pale. A faint pressing on his chest scared him, it felt like having a heart again, or the ghost of a heartbeat, weak and slow.

"You were right." Loki turned around startled. It was Hela. "Someone crossed Helheim's gate. Someone who isn't dead and managed to trick the gate's magic." She said with a smirk.

The thought both delighted and scared Loki, but he couldn't help the smile. "Told you."

"Run," She added. "They have sensed her _and_ you. They will soon figure out what it is you're both trying to do. They do not suffer the living and won't allow anyone to leave."

Loki nodded. "Think you can give your little brother a hand?"

"I've been giving you a hand, _little brother_." Hela chuckled with sarcasm. "But the shroud I put on you was removed by _her_ magic."

A high pitch squeal echoed in the caverns. Out of habit, Loki summoned a pair of obsidian daggers.

"I told you I don't mess in the affairs of the guardians, and I've tried to help you as much as I can." Hela said. "But you're not of use to me if you stay dead." That sounded like both a threat and a promise. Loki couldn't decide which. "The gate is not far, just over that mound at the end."

Loki noticed the elevation at the other end of the cavern, it led to a wide tunnel, the smooth obsidian rock shimmered an orange glow.

"Good luck, _little brother_." Hela smiled coldly before disappearing.

Loki braced himself and looked at the irregular terrain again, trying to make sense of the small hills and crevices. He didn't want to get stuck on a dead end. Another high pitch scream echoed behind him, they were closer now. Loki muttered a string of curses and got on the move.

His right hand was burning by now, making not only his skin, but also his clothes flicker and change color. For some reason, the effect made him grow weak, and his sight darkened. A choir of loud screaming resonated all over the vault and Loki looked back to see at least 5 wisps come out the very cavern he had arrived through.

He had to hurry.

Gathering his energy, he started to run. His sight was blurring, and he was able to just keep focus on the entryway Hela had pointed out. The screams were getting closer, and he felt the whoosh of a weapon right in his ear. The dark spear made no sound when it hit the ground and evaporated.

 _Don't look back, don't look back, just run._

Loki kept running, tripping one and many times as another weapon grazed his arm, leaving a lingering cold feeling. His head swirled.

Out of despair, he threw one of the obsidian blades he had conjured to one of the guardians. He didn't really expect the creature to be affected, but as the blade went through it, the smoke figure shrieked and lost its shape, falling into an amorphous blob of dark smoke on the ground. Loki immediately summoned more daggers and threw them at the other guardians that were stalking him. But he didn't turn to see if the weapons had found their marks.

He knew the guardians couldn't die, it was only a matter of time until they reformed and went after him.

His right hand burned again, making him flinch in discomfort. The closest he was to the gate, the more it drained his magic, allowing Sigyn's to take over. And he could tell the guardians weren't happy about it. Sparing a close glance behind him, he saw them almost reformed. He made a sprint for a steep hill, the effort tiring him down, making him see black spots and lose focus again.

How do you even deal with exertion when is not physical? He couldn't take deep breaths, or eat, or drink… The thought made him even dizzier.

Loki shook his head and tried to get back on his feet, but failed. His hands were blindly trying to grab onto something, anything that allowed him back up, but he only staggered a few feet and went back down.

 _Don't give up now._

Hoisting himself against a large rock spire, Loki finally stood up. His sight was still dark and fuzzy, but through it he could see - _something_. An orange golden glow. _The gate!_

He reached out with his hand, stumbling a few steps, trying to get hold of another rock. But what he found was not cold and sharp. Warm energy prickled on his skin, it made the nausea disappear. Loki looked up.

"Told you I'd come to Helheim and find you."

Sigyn was staring at him, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. Loki stared back, speechless, knowing there was no need, nor time, for words. The moment lasted barely a second, but it was enough. The chilling screams of the guardians startled them, and Loki tried to stand, holding on to her hand.

"We have to -" Loki stammered and fell back down.

Sigyn pulled him up, realizing immediately that whenever she used her other hand on him, an invisible force stopped her, repelled her touch. She didn't give it much thought, and anchored her right hand to his, willing her magic to help him. Loki, as usual, resisted at first, not wanting to drain her. A small huff coming from her was enough for him to stop resisting.

As soon as he was up, Sigyn dragged him up the small hill. The guardians were behind him, furious, albeit confused by the living presence. They dragged themselves closer, trying to surround them. Their smokey spears swirled towards them, but Loki managed to either dodge them or deflect them. He fought back as best as he could, his obsidian knives flying out of his hand, managing to keep the wisps at bay. By the time they reached the top of the mound and entered the tunnel, he was drained again.

 _The gate is so close now._

Sigyn pulled on Loki's arm harder, but the closer they were to the gate, the harder it was to keep moving. The same ancient magic Sigyn had to fight on her way in was now preventing her from getting out. She could not longer mask her life, but if she did that, she could risk letting go of Loki.

 _That's not going to happen._

The sole thought of losing Loki again ignited something inside of her, and the air was suddenly a lot lighter.

"Love-" Loki stuttered.

"What?"

"Hela said-" He was panting with exhaustion. "The only thing strong enough to reverse death-"

"- is love."

The most simple, ancient and powerful magic. Sigyn concentrated all her power in their joined hands. Loki's skin prickled with hot waves, the pale of his hand spread through the rest of his body. Sigyn was shrouding his death with love. And the guardians didn't like that. The fallen ones reformed faster than before and where their eyes had been shining white, they were now red. Even the way the smoke of their bodies swirled was different: angry, aggressive. They wouldn't let them go without a fight.

Loki and Sigyn managed to walk faster. The pull of Helheim was hard to overcome, but Loki focused on Sigyn's magic, its warmth, its familiarity, let it flood him with pleasant memories. He closed his eyes and walked blindly, following her lead. It didn't matter that his legs were giving in, or the dark wisps of smoke that were still attacking them. He didn't have energy to waste on them, not now, not when they were so close to escape.

Sigyn made it to the finish line, and allowed her magic to drop the facade of death. Helheim seemed to push her out violently when she did, and nearly lost her grip on Loki.

"THOR!" Sigyn shouted, pulling on Loki's hand.

But Thor was preoccupied. The fire giants had found them, and it wasn't an easy task to defend himself and prevent Loki's body from catching fire at the same time.

"Thor!" She shouted again.

Loki's hand was slipping from hers, the rest of his soul still trapped in Helheim.

 _The body… I need to get you in your body._

Loki gripped her hand tight and turned around to face the rushing wisps. He summoned a short sword and braced himself. Sigyn tried to summon Loki's body closer, but all her magic was concentrated on keeping Loki with her. The tiniest amount she tried to use in something else, made Loki slip from her grasp.

The guardians surrounded Loki. It was evident that the same magic preventing Loki from getting out was affecting them too, slowing down their movements, making them unable to teleport.

It was too small a relief, seeing Loki was outnumbered, and only had use of one of his hands. The wisps crawled closer, summoning more of their large spears. Loki fought back, fending them off, but they were too many. Soon, two of them had almost taken hold of him, while the others were reforming.

"Thor!" Sigyn cried.

Thor turned around and saw her, half of her arm was still in Helheim, dark green smoke was trying to engulf her body, kept at bay just by a sliver of golden light. He didn't understand what he was seeing, but he understood what it had to be done. Sending Stormbreaker spinning to deal with the Fire Giants, Thor grabbed Loki's body and placed it beside Sigyn.

A powerful pull from Helheim made Sigyn lose her balance and she was nearly drawn back in. Thor grabbed her, but she fell to her knees anyway.

"Sigyn, what's happening?"

What Thor could not see, and Sigyn could, were the guardians. One of them had struck Loki's legs and he was down on his back, kicking and screaming, fighting the creatures with his sword. But he was losing. The little energy he had left he was using it to keep himself anchored to Sigyn.

On the other side, Thor noticed how the dark green smoke advanced on Sigyn's body, threatening with swallowing her whole.

Loki was dragging her back to Hel.

"Sigyn, let go." Loki said through gritted teeth.

"I'm not going to." She shook her head. "I didn't come all this way to lose you at the end."

"Sigyn-"

Pain shot up through both of them as one of the guardians impaled Loki's leg.

Sigyn tried to block out the pain, while Thor recovered Stormbreaker and thrusted it on the floor by their side. He dragged Loki's body even closer, allowing her put her hand on the pit of Loki's stomach. But her magic was too weak. Whatever she needed to do right now, wasn't going to work with her energy as depleted as it was.

 _Let go… please let go._

"Never…" Sigyn muttered.

"Let go, please-" Another shot of pain cut Loki mid phrase. A guardian's spear protruded from Loki's abdomen, and the wisps closed in on him. The pain clouded Sigyn's vision, the dark smoke winning over the weakening golden light, spreading too fast over her body.

Loki looked at her, his eyes full of hopelessness, the hold on her hand slacking.

 _I am dragging you back in._

The tears she had been fighting off came out pouring. Sigyn shook her head slightly, and tightened her grip in Loki's hand. Time stood still while she took a deep and long breath.

 _Then drag me in. Cause I am not leaving you again._


	7. Chapter 7

**Ch.7: This is the only thing I ever had any faith in**

Everything Thor could see was the dark smoke was advancing alarmingly fast over Sigyn's body. He didn't understand what was happening, and he didn't know how to help either.

"Sigyn-" He whispered, but was interrupted by the war cries from another group of fire giants.

Thor groaned loudly. He didn't want to leave Sigyn's side. Stormbreaker hummed and vibrated, filling the air around it with static. Thor got up and braced himself for the attack, but the fire giants never made it to him. Stormbreaker seemed to _know_ it was supposed to protect them, and fired against the creatures, fending off their strike. The metallic smell of electricity filled the air with each crack of axe.

Sigyn could feel the energy in her skin, mixing with her own, stopping the dark smoke from swallowing her. It gave her an idea.

 _Lightning._

"Thor, shock me!" She choked out.

"What?!" Thor looked at her, bewildered by her request. "I can't-"

"Thor, please, just do it!" She pleaded through gritted teeth.

Thor groaned loudly and knelt beside Loki's body. Sigyn grabbed his hand, placing it with hers on Loki's stomach.

"Please!" Sigyn looked up at him.

Thor took a deep breath and allowed lightning to circle him. At the same time, Sigyn concentrated on Loki, clutching his hand. Her eyes turned gold. The first shock was painful, but too short to be effective.

Sigyn glared at Thor. "Again! And don't you dare stop until I say so!"

Thor took another breath and let the electricity course through his body and out his hand again. This time he held it there. He had to close his eyes not to see Sigyn falling on her back, convulsing wildly.

Loki was feeling the shock too. Tendrils of electricity seemed to wrap his body, lashing out at any guardian who dared approach him. Sigyn's magic was pulling him out, it tugged at his hand harshly. But the spears on his leg and stomach were holding him in place.

"This is going to hurt." He muttered.

With his free hand, he took the spear in his abdomen and yanked it off. He and Sigyn screamed at the same time due to the searing pain it caused, and Thor almost stopped shocking them if it wasn't for Sigyn's hand keeping him in place. Loki then went for the leg spear, but couldn't reach it without letting go of Sigyn's hand. Closing his eyes, he summoned a long sword, and hit on the spear repeatedly until it broke. He lifted his thigh, howling. As soon as he was free, the spear vanished. Loki squeezed Sigyn's wrist.

Electricity surged through their bodies. Mixed with Sigyn's healing magic, the electric shocks were powerful enough to heal and kickstart Loki's heart.

 _Boom._ Loki's whole being was being yanked again. The electric tendrils looked like spiderwebs on his body. The loud sharp screeches of the guardians would've chilled his blood. They could not accept they had been defeated, and tried everything to get him again, but the tendrils of lightning around him zapped them and their weapons.

 _Boom._ Sigyn was pulling Loki inside her own body. She was shaking violently, eyes rolled back, smoke coming out her clothes and singeing parts of her hair. Thor wondered if he should stop, but Sigyn held his hand in place, hoping he understood what was needed.

 _Bumboom._ Sigyn breathed a choked gasp. Her body was surrounded by bright golden light that pushed the dark smoke off her. Only the hand she still had in Helheim was black. She held Thor's hand in a death grip, urging him to continue, if he stopped now, all would be lost.

 _Bumboom._ Thor watched in amazement how the golden light detached from Sigyn and hovered over her body. He didn't know, but that was her soul, making way for Loki to transition. For a millisecond, Sigyn let go of her physical form. Loki panicked.

 _Don't you dare!_

 _Bumboom._ Sigyn was pulled back inside her body and fought to breathe again. Loki's soul had left her body and was back into his own.

 _Bumboom. Bumboom. Bumboom._

 _You did it._

Sigyn clutched Thor's hand again, and he stopped. Dark wisps flickered on the fingers when she retrieved her hand from Helheim, the blue skin turning pale. Every single inch of her body hurt, several burns throbbed on her skin, her very bones seemed to be smoking, but none of it mattered. She could feel Loki's life force flooding back in. Ignoring the agony, she rolled over and placed her head on Loki's chest.

"It worked." She muttered, basking in the sound of his heart.

Thor was speechless and paralyzed. He wanted to ask, but the words wouldn't come. Sigyn took his hand and put it to Loki's chest, so he could feel it too.

"Get us out of here, Thor." Sigyn said, while covering Loki's body with her own and conjuring a small shield around it.

Thor summoned the bifrost. The multicolored light swallowed them before the remaining fire giants got them and they were hurled back to Earth.

.-

"Sigyn, you need to eat."

"I am not hungry."

Thor let out a deep sigh and sat by her side, leaving the bowl of food on the stand. She had been snapping at him everytime he tried to get her to eat, but that didn't deter him. Everyday, every meal, he'd show up with something for her. It didn't matter that it would probably end in the trash.

Since their return to Wakanda one week ago, Sigyn had stubbornly refused to leave Loki's side. He was now in one of Shuri's healing pods. Most of his body was treated, the wounds and broken bones healed, and his neck was back in one piece. It was his nervous system that was causing the delay. After being exposed to extreme radiation, freezing temperatures and no atmosphere, it was hard to predict how he would react. Sigyn couldn't know how Loki would react, she even feared might not be the same again, so she knocked him out, keeping him in a sort of suspended animation while her magic and the healing pod did their work.

But having Loki in that state meant she couldn't reach him. There was no way of knowing how Loki was doing, or what else could be done. The only thing she could do was to keep working and to wait. Once again she understood Loki's dislike for hope, but hope was all she had right now.

Spending all her energy on him had taken its toll. Patches of skin were still burnt, halfway closed cuts and gashes were visible in her legs and arms. She hadn't been able to brush her own hair without losing handfuls of it. All of her magic was being directed to Loki, and she didn't want to spare any on healing herself. Shuri had offered to treat her, Sigyn refused.

"Your arm is bleeding again." Thor pointed out.

"Shit." She muttered, looking around the room for something to clean herself up, but it was Thor who got a clean cloth and pressed it against the wound.

"You need to rest, and to eat." Thor said with concern. "Loki needs you to be healthy too."

Sigyn wanted to lash out, but Thor was right. Loki would be the first one to resist using her magic if he knew how badly it was affecting her. Too tired to argue anymore, she took a deep breath and nodded curtly, Thor handed her the bowl. It was warm porridge with yogurt and raspberries. The familiarity made her smile.

"Thank you." She started eating slowly, knowing Thor wouldn't leave until she finished. "How's the rest of the team doing?"

"Well, they do manage to get things done, as long as they're not fighting." Thor said with a chuckle. "Some of them are getting impatient. But at the same time, no one knows where to start. Not even the luphomoid."

"Nebula." Sigyn recalled, Thor nodded.

"Steve has been wanting to ask you if you can build another tracking spell, like you did with Tony, but I told him to leave you alone."

Sigyn smiled faintly. "I'm guessing Loki's presence has not gone without comment."

"It hasn't." Thor admitted, but didn't elaborate. "Right now, they have more important things to care about, though. And we do need all the help we can get."

Sigyn knew there was more to that phrase than Thor was letting on, she didn't even have to read his mind to notice.

"Look, I know I am being as helpful as a wet blanket right now." She said. "Once Loki is awake and back on his feet…" Sigyn gulped, she wouldn't soon forget what Thanos had done. "You can trust me on this: we will help you find a way to defeat Thanos."

"And how long until Loki wakes?" Thor's tone not accusing, but hopeful.

"That's up to him, not to me." Sigyn sighed, and fished the last raspberries from her bowl, feeling slightly better. "Thanks again for the meal."

"Any chance I could convince you to get some sleep?" Thor half smiled. "You wouldn't even have to leave this room."

Without letting her answer, Thor sprinted out of the room, and came back a few minutes later with a big comfortable couch. Sigyn had to laugh at it, but still curled up on the couch and accepted the quilt Thor gave her. It took her a while, but sated with the food and her mind still linked to Loki, she let herself fall asleep.

.-

 _We will get you, in this life or the next one._

 _Your name will not be forgotten, as it has been carved the halls of Helheim._

 _There's a noose with your name in our shore._

 _We will get you, Loki Son-of-None. And the screams of your punishment will be drown by the black sea._

 _No living creature will be able to save you again._

Everything around him was dark. There were no walls, no markings on the floor, no roof in his reach. His legs staggered every few steps, with no perch to steady himself. The heavy air made him claustrophobic, the lack of clothes made him vulnerable. And it was freezing cold. He never had issues with cold, but now the ice seemed to have settled in his bones, freezing him from the inside.

He needs to calm down. He closed her eyes and focused. Memories coming back to him in flashes: Helheim, the dark Asgard tower, Hela… being chased… being saved.

He _knew_ he wasn't dead anymore. But he was still trapped. Inside his mind, inside his body. His dead body. _No, not anymore_. His heart is beating, air is reaching his lungs. Magic is rippling through his system. He can see its glow coursing his veins, fixing whatever there is to fix. But it's slow. Some things don't want to be fixed, and it takes more energy to force them, to twist them, to get them running again. Things like to stay dead. He doesn't.

He has to rest. Allow his body to heal, to gather his energy and his magic back. He knows there's a task he must fulfill, or the threats of the dark wisps will become a reality. He won't be able to fulfill that task if he's not in full control of his powers, so he must wait. He must rely on someone else to nurse him back to life. He wants to resist, he knows she's already weakened and tired. But he's not strong enough to block it. So he accepts it, begrudgingly.

Sometimes he can hear her voice. Sometimes he can feel her touch. Sometimes he can even see her light in the endless darkness. And that's enough. He knows there will be an end to it.

He knows she won't give up on him. He can't give up either.

.-

Loki opened his eyes slowly, the light hurt him, moving hurt, breathing hurt. But it was such a joy! Blinking repeatedly to let his eyes grow used to the light, he took several deep breaths, just enjoying the air flooding his lungs and his heart rate going slightly up with each intake. His muscles were sore and stiff, but not even that could bother him. He managed to lean up on his elbows and look around.

Loki was in what looked like a healing room, but instead of golden like the one is Asgard, this was white and gray. He could feel the hum of several machines around him, including the very bed he was on. He sat up, the movement making him a little dizzy. He looked at his hands, still blue and marked, and tried to gather some of his magic. But even with his life force almost restored, his energy was too low to shapeshift.

Stretching his back, he turned, and a smile crawled on his lips. Slowly and tasting, Loki got off the bed and walked the three steps that separated him from the couch. As quiet as he could, he laid behind Sigyn, curling up his body to her back and holding her waist.

"Loki?" She gasped. "You're awake!" Despite de exhaustion, she started crying, out of happiness, relief, tiredness… Loki soothed her, holding her against him, whispering sweet little nothings in her ear, squeezing her hands and stroking her arms.

"I'm here, my love. Thanks to you, I'm here." He said, kissing her cheek. "Now go back to sleep. Don't you even think I didn't notice you draining yourself." He added.

Her hands closed around his arms, pulling him even closer, longing to feel his body on hers again. They shifted in the small space the couch provided, until their limbs were comfortably tangled.

 _It is the second time you wake up while I'm asleep._

 _I like the surprise factor of coming back from the dead._

 _You're an idiot._

 _You're the one married to an idiot._


	8. Chapter 8

**Ch.8: Hearts flew from my hands**

Thor found them in the exact position they had fallen asleep in a few hours later, when he came back to the room carrying lunch for Sigyn. Loki stirred at the smell, but it was the loud noise of crashing plates what startled both awake.

Sigyn got up the couch, chastising Thor, but he didn't seem to hear her. He was staring at Loki in absolute disbelief, trying to think about what to say, what to do, how to react. He stood stiffly in the middle of the room. Loki stared back blankly.

Without a word, Sigyn cleaned the mess with magic, and then made way for the door.

 _Sigyn, don't-_

 _I am going to get something for you to eat. And you need to talk to him._

 _I won't be nice to him._

 _I didn't say you had to be._

Thor watched Sigyn leave the room after that silent exchange, wishing she had stayed.

"I have watched you die too many times…" Thor started.

Loki rolled his eyes. "The trip to Helheim wasn't enough for you to know it was real?"

"I didn't mean it like that." Thor shook his head, unsure of how to say what he meant.

"Sit down, Thor." Loki motioned for him to get a chair.

A heavy silence stretched in the room, and Loki knew Thor wouldn't be the one to break it.

"You know? For a long time, I thought that the only way I could fit into our family was to become _you_." Loki said bitterly. "Even when we were children and I knew nothing of my real bloodline…" He stopped for a second. "Sigyn was the exception. She was the only one who didn't care the I wasn't you." Loki paused again, watching Thor divert his eyes to the floor. "After Odin nearly sacrificed Sigyn and I believed her dead-" He gulped, even after all these years, it was hard to talk about it. "I lost everything. Once again, I had to fight for a place in family I didn't belong to."

Loki didn't even bother with masking the contempt and resentment in his voice.

"You could have said something." Thor said, clearly deflecting. "Why didn't you-?"

Loki groaned loudly. "How? You never gave me the chance. Not you, nor the boorish lot of traitors you called friends." He spat. "You always seemed to assume the worst of me instead of taking the time out to wonder why, or even just pay attention to me." Loki could feel centuries of bitterness and unspoken anger boiling inside of him, ready to explode. "It was always about _you_ : Your accomplishments, your battles, your inheritance to the throne. I was near invisible unless you wanted to blame someone!"

Loki took a deep breath trying to calm himself, green wisps of seidr hovered on his hands. As happy as he was to be gathering his magic back, he was too wound up to control it properly. Thor gulped hard and remained silent, finally understanding that this was his turn to listen.

"When I finally learned that I was _this_ ," Loki put his jotun hands up. Thor stared at the blue markings on Loki's skin. "It all made sense. It made sense why Odin did nothing for my sons. It made sense why he sent me to be tortured. It made sense why no matter what I did, I was never going to be _you_."

Loki leaned back and stretched on the couch, the soreness in his muscles made him flinch uncomfortably.

"After that… everything spiraled out of control. And I let it." He continued. "All my terrible choices, all my wishes of revenge, of payback… they piled up one on top of the other and brought me nothing but pain." His voice now was full of regret.

Thor had already seen in Loki's memories the pain and tortures he had been subjected too. Maybe if he hadn't been so blind…

"I should have realized sooner…" Thor said in a low voice, hanging his head. "Do something."

"What _should have happened_ doesn't matter anymore." Loki stopped him. "I reached a point where my life didn't have meaning, I never counted on surviving anything, I just- _did_." He sighed deeply. "And when I got some glimpse of hope back, I actually died." Loki had to chuckle at the irony.

"Did you know she would go get you?" Thor asked.

"I hoped." Loki said. "I admit I was surprised to find out _you_ helped."

"Sigyn has a way with people."

Loki smiled knowingly, another moment of silence falling between them. His anger hadn't dwindled, but instead was redirected to another matter. He looked at his left wrist. It wasn't visible right now, but he could feel the slight cold oppression of Hela's binding. He knew he had to deliver Thanos to Helheim, and if Thor and the remaining of the Avengers were going after the mad titan, that worked for him too.

"We will turn this around, _brother_." Loki smirked at the last word. "Get back as much as we can." Thor looked at him with a hint of a smile and hugged him tight.

"I am sorry, for everything I did and didn't do." Thor muttered, and Loki didn't need mind reading to guess whatever else Thor wanted to say and couldn't.

To Thor's surprise, Loki hugged him back.

.-

 _This is getting ridiculous._

 _I have to agree with that._

 _Little mortals, yapping about things they couldn't possibly understand. Wasting precious time trying to decide whether to trust me or not._

As much as Sigyn wanted to protect Loki until he was in better shape, the rest of the team wasn't cooperating. As soon as they found out Loki was awake, they dragged him to the small room by the lab, where they had set a sort of headquarters. They were all over him, demanding answers and explanations Loki wasn't too keen to deliver. Not when they were questioning his motives, his methods, and were clearly not over him trying to take over Earth.

 _What a clump of petty-_

 _Loki, we need them on our side._

 _What do you suggest? That I tell them everything?_

 _Everything they need to know._

Loki and Sigyn stared at each other, blatantly ignoring the ongoing conversation.

"Hey," Tony snapped his fingers. "Over here, blue slushie!"

"Oh, am I allowed to speak now?" Loki spat.

"Loki, don't make this worse." Thor sighed. Loki just glared at him.

"I wanna know what's in it for you." Tony said, leaning on the table across Loki. "You worked for him in the past-"

"Under torture and coercion," Loki rolled his eyes. "Not that it matters to you."

Tony blinked and looked at Thor, who nodded curtly. Shaking away the questions, Tony looked at Loki again. "Why would you help us?"

"As far as I see it, you'd be the ones helping me." Loki lifted an eyebrow. "I want revenge, same as you. Thanos tortured me, used me, and ultimately killed me." He said in the plainest tone he could muster. "Have you been to Helheim? I wouldn't recommend it."

"But you got out." Natasha intervened.

Loki mulled over the implications of her words, biting the inside of his cheek. He glanced over at Sigyn briefly and took a deep breath.

"I stroke a deal with Hela." Loki said. "She offered me protection, and safe passage, sort of."

"She let you out?" Thor asked.

"She can't let anyone out." Loki explained. "There are much worse things in Helheim than Hela." His tone was dry and flat, but Sigyn could notice the slight shiver. "She concealed me from those beings, and pointed me in the right direction to escape. I still needed help from the living side to get out."

"And why would she help you?" Steve asked.

"Cause she also wants revenge. But thanks to Odin, there's no way she can escape Helheim." Loki took another deep breath and detangled his arms, rolling up the left sleeve and showing everyone a dark green ring of smoke latched to his blue wrist.

"It is a binding spell." Sigyn spoke for the first time, answering the lingering question. "She helped him escape so we send that purple bacraut to Helheim. If Loki doesn't deliver, he gets dragged back."

"So we just have to kill him. Great!" Tony said with faux enthusiasm.

"Killing him is the easy part, sending him specifically to Hel…" Loki couldn't help but chuckle at realizing he was repeating Hela's words to him.

"There is a way." Sigyn said. "But for it to work, Loki must be the one to kill him."

Murmurs of disagreement grew loud again in the small room. Sigyn looked at all of them, reading their distrust. Even Steve, who surprisingly had been defending Loki, wasn't so sure about his involvement.

 _They're scared you'll steal the gauntlet or the infinity stones._

 _None of them knows how to wield the stones anyway. What are they going to do?_

Sigyn side-eyed Loki.

 _I'm just saying… they will have to give it to us._

 _Let's not tell them that just yet. I have an idea about what to do with it._

"Would you stop staring at each other like that? You're creeping me out!" Tony snapped them out their mental conversation. Loki chortled, Sigyn was a bit more subtle about it.

"Tony, is really simple. You help us, we help you." She offered. "If you refuse, we will go kill Thanos by ourselves anyway."

"The enemy of my enemy…" Natasha muttered.

"Is barely an acquaintance." Loki finished the phrase.

"Whether we like it on not, we need their help." Steve said with finality.

Reluctantly, the rest of the team agreed. They finally got back to focusing on how to find Thanos. Tony and Shuri had upgraded Peter Quill's ship, and improved the tech. All they needed was supplies and a destination. Steve suggested Sigyn built another tracking spell, but her magic was still recovering and if Thanos still held the gauntlet, it would be impossible for her to go against its power again. Nebula was the one to point out a few possibilities, and it was a least a start.

"Well, it looks like we're leaving in a couple of days." Tony stated.

Loki stood up and left the room with Sigyn, nearly sprinting back to their shared quarters before anyone could say anything. Once he slammed the door, his magic went haywire. Green wisps of seidr flew out of his hands and arms, ricocheting around the room until Sigyn made them disappear. Loki slumped against the wall, hating how little control he still had over his powers.

"Loki…" Sigyn said softly, trying to calm him down. "Don't push yourself so hard, you're still healing."

"I hate it." He growled. "We're supposed to leave in a couple of days and I can't even-" Loki put his hands in front of his face and glared at them. A green shimmer enveloped his hands, but the blue remained the same.

"Stop trying to shapeshift." She scolded him, taking his hands in hers. "I know you don't like people to see you like this-"

" _I_ don't like seeing myself like this!" He huffed.

Sigyn slowly traced the markings on his hands with the tip of her fingers. "I do."

Loki looked at her with a small smiled. "I wish I could accuse you of lying…"

"Even if I could lie to you, I wouldn't."

Loki took a deep breath and placed his forehead against hers, tightening the grip on her hands, and biting his lower lip. Sigyn could feel all the unspoken fears, the uncertainties, the doubts.

"To this day I am amazed that you find it in you to love me." He uttered in a low voice. "I wish I had lived up to that."

"We still have four thousand years for you to try." She smiled, cupping his face in her palms. "Look at you, see yourself through my eyes. Through my heart."

Loki stared at Sigyn intently, and placed his hands on either side of her face. First thing he felt was warmth. A comfortable soft warmth seeping through his very bones, filling him with joy and peace, as if he were lying on the gardens of Asgard under a fading autumn sun.

Images of himself flashed in his head, but there was something different. A lighter step, a brighter smile, a deeper voice. Little moments when Loki thought no one was watching, as a teenager reading by the lake, climbing up a tree, hiding under the library tables. Little intimate moments they shared, stolen kisses, light touches and quiet looks that were invisible to everyone else. Even with his face and hands covered up in blood, dirt and grime, something was shining through him.

 _This is how you see me?_

 _Yes._

 _Why?_

 _Because no one else did. Not even you._

The images came with a wave of emotions, so overwhelming Loki had trouble processing them. He wanted to stop them, but the tears welled in his eyes nonetheless. Even in his darkest moments, Sigyn _knew_ he was worth loving.

"I don't deserve it." He muttered.

"You don't get to make that call. I do."

Sigyn leaned up and kissed him, the tips of her fingers trailing the markings on his face. A tight knot of apprehension seemed to loosen up in the pit of his stomach. Loki kissed her back hard. Her arms around his neck, his arms around her waist, Loki walked Sigyn backwards until her legs hit the bed. A mixed flash of green and gold made whatever clothes they were wearing disappear before Sigyn fell on her back with Loki on top.

Stark had said they would leave in a couple of days. Loki didn't plan to leave that bed until then.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch.9: You can't carry it with you if you want to survive.**

Following Nebula's suggestions, they first arrived in Xandar. Their government had held and protected the Power Stone until Thanos appeared and nearly leveled the planet, demanding they surrender the stone. The Xandarian army put quite the fight, but for the second time, the Nova Corps were obliterated.

Thor had a short lived moment of happiness when he realized the Asgardians that survived Thanos' attack to the cruiser, _and_ the snap, had been led by the Valkyrie to Xandar, and were currently helping the devastated citizens trying to make some sense of the chaos.

Steve and Tony went to have a talk with the head of the Xandarian commander, Irani Rael, while Thor and Loki went to check on the Asgardians. Sigyn asked Natasha and Bruce for help with finding and treating injured people.

Irani Rael had nothing but bad news for everyone. After Thanos attacked them, and knowing his plans for genocide, Xandar sent distress signals to every world in their reach. Their severed armies were no good to engage in a chase, so they set up defenses with anything they had left. The remaining asgardians arrived in the middle of it, and immediately after came the snap. Whatever intel they had was obliterated. The only place she thought they could find information was Knowhere.

As soon as the ship was restocked, they were on their way. The Valkyrie and some other creatures joined them in another ship.

When they arrived in Knowhere it was as chaotic as everywhere else, but at least this time they had a clear lead. They only needed to catch up with Thanos.

Jumping from one planetary system to the next was frustrating. Thanos seemed to slip away from their grasp every time. As if he had just left before they arrived.

Suspicions arose between them, their tactic meetings became almost battlefields where they would throw the blame around. Sigyn usually tended to stay away from them, occupying her time in trying to come up with a tracking spell. She had tried with Nebula, but since she wasn't Thanos' biological daughter, it was in vain. Besides, he still held on to the gauntlet. Sigyn feared that she using magic could make it even easier for him to track them down.

The frustration was so high that Loki and Nebula were suffering from a great amount of backlash. No matter what the rest of the team said, they clearly didn't trust any of them. The only thing that kept Nebula from leaving was Rocket, and the only thing keeping Loki from exploding was Sigyn.

Yet another failed incursion, and the team was ready to make some heads roll. It was Thor's idea to make Sigyn read everyone's minds, in secret, and for the first time, she joined them under the excuse of keeping an eye on Loki.

The initial conversation was predictable: once again they lashed out at each other, accusations growing loud in the makeshift room. Sigyn worked her magic into reading everyone's minds, which was confusing and disheartening, but behind the regular noise, there was something else. A distant murmur, as soft as waves, that didn't belong to anyone.

"It's as if he knows exactly what we're doing!" Steve groaned loudly. "How is that even possible? The stones?"

Some agreed with the notion of Thanos using the stones, but Sigyn knew he still had to be somewhat connected to them to track them this well. The background murmur became louder, a foggy and misshaped presence hidden just behind the veil of reality. Sigyn's breath picked up slightly. _He's here?_

"You're right." Sigyn suddenly interrupted, looking around at the startled faces. "Steve is right."

"What?"

"He _knows_ what we're doing." Sigyn started. "He's being led-"

Sigyn couldn't finish her sentence when the Valkyrie jumped up, immediately attacking Loki. He hastily summoned a blade and blocked her blow. Dragonfang made a ringing sound when it hit the necrosword.

"You bear the marks of Hel." She growled, lashing at him. "You are the traitor here!"

Helped by Sigyn's foresight, Loki deflected her attacks, easily. The Valkyrie got even more wound up with each strike that didn't hit its mark.

"You sold yourself to the Goddess of Death herself! What's stopping you from doing the same with Thanos!?" She shouted. "You have no honor! You should've stayed dead and accept your punishment! Now you're going to kill us all!"

Thor was uselessly trying to catch up with her, and the rest of the team was staring, some of them silently agreeing. Sigyn stared daggers at them.

"Would you calm down, Brunnhilde?" Sigyn said in a low voice.

The Valkyrie stopped abruptly, and turned to look at Sigyn, shocked and bewildered. "What-"

"That's your name isn't it? Before you went with Scraper-142 and sold slaves for a living. Very honorable."

"I did what I had to do to survive." She said, biting the words bitterly.

"And I did what I had to do to get out of Helheim. What makes my choice less honorable?" Loki snarled. "That the being I stroke a deal with is your enemy?"

"An enemy of Asgard!" Brunnhilde shouted, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

"That's rich coming from someone who betrayed Asgard and fled." Loki said with a sardonic smile. "Wasn't your duty as a Valkyrie to come back and follow your King's command to victory or death? You're as much of a traitor before Asgardia Law as I am. You will find yourself not at the gates of Valhalla once you die."

Brunnhilde's grip on her sword slacked, and the blade clattered on the floor. She clenched her jaw, trying to collect herself, and stood silent beside Thor. Loki made his necrosword disappear and slumped on the wall, crossing his arms.

"Is no secret that _all_ of you here suspect me as much as you suspect the luphomoid." Loki said, glaring distinctly at Thor. "Say it. Say that you don't trust us, that the only reason you agreed to have _me_ here is because you don't want me stealing that gauntlet."

"Won't you?" Tony spat, making Loki roll his eyes.

Sigyn again felt that buzz of someone being in the room. Decidedly ignoring the new discussion, she focused her stare on Tony. His thoughts were very clear, if scattered and chaotic, but so inherently _his_. Deep inside, there was a background noise, something that didn't belong inside Tony's head.

 _It was the only way._ Stephen's last words echoed in her memory. _Tony must be the key to reverse this._

"Stark." She finally said, interrupting the ongoing argument. "It's you."

"What?!"

Everyone started shouting and demanding answers, accusing her of lying to protect Loki. The only quiet one was Thor, who shared a meaningful look with Sigyn. He gripped Stormbreaker tight, producing a small static blast, leaving everyone slightly shaking, and very much silent.

"Stephen saved your life for a reason, and I can see in your head what Thanos told you before he killed half the universe." Sigyn explained calmly. "You were _shown_ , remember?"

Tony stood stiff and straight. "Are you saying Thanos can read my mind or something?" He scoffed.

"It's more complicated than that, but yes." She said. "He chose you, and he can _sense_ you." Sigyn watched Tony clench his jaw. "You can feel it too, but since you can't understand it, you brush it aside."

Tony didn't answer. He knew Sigyn was right, what was the point of denying something to a being who could read his mind? At least she hadn't divulged the nightmares and momentary blackouts. And at least now he knew the real reason behind them wasn't just the stress.

"Something doesn't add up." Natasha said, breaking the heavy silence. "If he knows we're after him, and he still holds the stones, why does he keep running away? He already beat us once."

"Because he never does the dirty work himself." Nebula offered. "He will watch us chase him around and enjoy how we destroy ourselves while failing at it."

"Then we have to change the rules." Bruce said. "Find some way to - block him out? Throw him off?"

"You worked inside Bucky's head." Steve turned to Sigyn. "Think you can do the same this time?"

"I could try." Sigyn shrugged. "It would be hard without Thanos noticing. If he realizes we know, he could kill Tony."

"On the plus side, we could manage to build a tracking spell." Loki added. Sigyn bit the inside of her cheek, and nodded.

"Hello!" Tony waived his arms in the air. "Why are you talking about me as if I'm not even here? Do I get a saying in all this? What does _working inside my head_ means?"

Steve _had_ to ignore Tony, and stared at Sigyn questioningly.

She sighed deeply. "I would have to knock him out, otherwise he won't let me."

Steve gave Tony an apologetic look. "Do it."

"Wait, what-?"

Sigyn circled the table faster than Tony was panicking. A small touch to the back of his head and he knew no more.

.-

 _It's my fault._

 _I told you, I don't want to join your super secret boy band._

 _I am Iron Man._

 _I am the man who killed the Avengers._

 _You're not the only one cursed with knowledge._

 _My only curse is you._

 _I hope they remember you._

Tony's thoughts were scattered and violent. Unlike Bucky's, it was hard for Sigyn to tell the difference between memories and nightmares, probably because, unlike Bucky, Tony was fully aware of what was happening. His choices were his own, as were his mistakes. And his hopes. So inherently human he was, he dared to hope. As a silver glow that enveloped everything, that hope was the motivation behind every action, every decision, ever move he made.

Cause his hope had a face, and Sigyn took that to her advantage as she navigated Tony's mind. She shrouded her presence with Pepper's memories and disguised herself as her.

Sigyn noticed the silver glow was keeping the darkness at bay, two forces fighting over control of Tony's mind. But the darkness that wasn't Tony's alone. She followed its edges, tracing back to the source, as careful as she could be, identifying pieces of Thanos' magic in it.

 _The hardest choices require the strongest wills._

" _I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart!"_

 _Watch the sun rise on a grateful universe._

" _A suit of armor around the world."_

Why Thanos had chosen Tony became clearer with each step Sigyn took.

 _You're not the only one cursed with knowledge._

Knowledge… _That's the lead._

Sigyn navigated Tony's mind to the parts where feelings and emotions were scarce. _Thanos cannot deal with them._ At last, a small energy reading that wasn't Tony's at all, a tiny parasitic thought kept at bay by his humanity. She knew she had little time, and the lead was already cowering from her and the emotions she evoked. Quickly, she focused on it, trying to do two things at the same time: Trace it, and block it.

Sigyn could feel Loki behind her, his magic trying to assist her, but she resisted it: Thanos was way too familiar with Loki, he could give them away and ruin everything. In the back of her mind she wondered why Loki was so adamantly pushing his magic onto hers. But she had no time to figure Loki out. Finally, she got a reading, and a trace.

"Vormir." Sigyn muttered, dizzy and drained, falling against Loki. "Thanos is on Vormir." She repeated more clearly, coming back to herself. Everyone was staring in shock.

Only then she noticed the pain that was spreading through her body. Her hands were charred black, with deep gashes all over her arms, her nose was bleeding, and she understood why Loki was pushing his magic on her.

"Stop resisting." Loki muttered between teeth. Sigyn allowed his magic to help her heal. Loki took her into his arms to take her to rest.

"Aren't we waking Tony up?" Natasha asked.

"No, I couldn't block it." Sigyn explained briefly. "If we wake him up, Thanos will know."

Loki didn't wait for anyone else to make any more question and carried Sigyn away. He could hear the small commotion, but he decidedly ignored it. They could deal with finding Vormir in the archives and taking everyone there by themselves.

.-

The eternal twilight of Vormir served as a cover as they approached the planet. Sigyn tried to guide them as close as possible, the stealth tech on the ship allowing them to get there. Tony was still in a sort of trance, as they needed to take him with, but couldn't yet wake him up.

As they descended from the ship, Loki covered them in a dark fog, and they had to rely on Sigyn and Thor to guide them. The more they walked, the more restless they grew, until finally Thor signaled them to stop. At the top of a hill, two large stone pillars pointed to the sky, in between them, they could see the familiar spirals of smoke.

"How do we get up there?" Steve asked.

"There's a passageway and a staircase down that road." Nebula pointed out.

"We have to split up." Natasha suggested. "It will take us forever to get up there, but a few of us can fly."

"And teleport." Loki added.

Steve took the stance he always took when he was about to give orders. "Thor, you must take Tony with you so Sigyn can wake him up as soon as you're up there. Keep him occupied and distracted until we get there. Whatever you do, _don't_ let him use the gauntlet."

Thor nodded curtly and looked at Brunnhilde. The two of them managed to steady Tony and hold him so Thor could take off. Loki circled Sigyn's waist with his arm.

"Ready, my love?" He asked with a smile. Sigyn nodded, and they disappeared in a flash of green.

The rest of the team was already sprinting up the stairs when Steve saw them appearing on top of the plateau. He could see Tony was already awake: laser and lightning fought together against the Titan, with the occasional flash of green and gold. They sped up, reaching the summit not long after.

"Care to share how I got here, Cap?" Steve heard on his earpiece.

"You took a very needed snooze." Steve said, hearing the chuckle on the other end. "Status?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Mischief are at the other end of the flat, apparently Thanos is not above jumping into an abyss to escape." Tony summarized. "Thor and the Valkyrie are keeping him occupied enough. You get to cover the stairs."

Steve signaled his party to cover and block the passageway to the stairs before they joined the fight. Nebula was the first one to jump into action, alerting Thanos of their presence. The titan looked around with a smirk.

"Your thirst for vengeance will be your undoing, Avengers." Thanos spoke. "You've come a long way from home to die."

"Not this time." Loki was the one to answer, daggers at the ready.

Thanos scoffed. "You're much harder to kill than I thought. I won't be making that mistake twice."

Sigyn saw it before it happened: Thanos tried to use the gauntlet. As battered as it was, it still held more power than they could go against. That gave her an idea.

 _Sword._

Loki summoned a necrosword, and Sigyn steered it toward Thanos. The blade grazed the top of his arm.

"I thought by now you would've learned to go for the head." Thanos' laugh rumbled deep, making the earth shake.

"But is not your head I want." Sigyn stared back with a smirk.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ch.10: Death itself was undone**

Thanos was putting quite the fight. Loki and Sigyn managed to block the Space and Mind Stones from him, but he still held control of the other stones, rendering him capable of wielding more power than they could go against. Even if he couldn't use all the stones at once. Half of the team focused on keeping Thanos from using the gauntlet, while the others attacked him relentlessly. Loki knew the only way to send Thanos to Helheim was to mark him somehow. It had been Sigyn's idea to use the necroswords, as they carried Loki's binding.

Steve lead one attack after the other, with little effect on the titan so far. They were getting tired, and angry. Their attacks grew disorderly and desperate. It was getting hard for Sigyn to follow them, as she had to weaken any possibly fatal blow that could hit Thanos before they had the chance to send him to Helheim.

 _This is taking too long._

 _I have an idea, but I will have to let go of the stone._

Loki shared a look with Sigyn, and nodded curtly, handing her a long black sword. He summoned many illusions, not only of him, but of all the avengers. The team was slightly confused, but Steve caught up on it and signaled them to attack. Sigyn let go of her hold on the Mind Stone, and Loki made his illusions attack Thanos, the team backing it up with everything they had. This disoriented the titan, and in that fraction of a second window, Sigyn jumped up and landed on his shoulder. Shrouded in her magic, Thanos was too slow to notice her until he saw a necrosword protruding from his neck.

A shock of pure excruciating pain hit all of his body like lightning. It took him a second to realize he was paralyzed from the neck down. His legs gave in, his arms weren't responding, and he fell to his knees. Sigyn steaded him and herself with magic, holding the sword in his spinal cord.

Thanos didn't hear Nebula screaming, nor did he feel her swords cleave his arm clean.

The gauntlet clanked loudly when it hit the floor, and Loki teleported to grab it. Sigyn immediately summoned a shield around them, knocking everyone away violently.

"No!" Someone shouted, but it was muffled by her shield bubble.

Loki took the gauntlet and pulled Thanos' arm off it. The gauntlet shrunk to fit Loki's hand, but that was all. It kept humming and cracking, threatening with disintegrating. Loki gulped hard, feeling the Soul Stone wanting to escape his grasp, no matter how hard he willed his magic on keeping it there.

"You know why it resists you." Thanos' laugh was deep and raspy. "You know the price you have to pay for it." He croaked with a sardonic smile, looking up to Sigyn.

Loki clenched his jaw, and decided it was not the time, yet, and summoned another necroblade to give Sigyn.

"That will be none of your business. Now…" Loki walked close to the titan. "You killed me. Not very successfully, but still."

"Are you going to torture me, little one?" Thanos mocked.

"Oh, no!" Loki smiled widely. "An old friend of yours will be doing that."

Loki took a deep breath and concentrated on the dark ring on his wrist. Tendrils of smoke escaped from it, reminding Loki of the wisps of Helheim. When the smoke took shape, it was no guardian, but Hela herself who answered the call.

Brunnhilde slammed her sword against Sigyn's shield, but the energy knocked her back. Thor looked confused, and hurt.

"Loki? What-" Thor's voice was muffled, but it still caught Hela's attention.

"Oh, baby brother!" Hela mused. "I'm just an illusion, I'm not really here. Our great father saw to that. Don't worry, I'll be gone soon." She didn't spare more than a glance in Brunn's direction before turning her attention to Thanos.

"Hela…" Thanos coughed, realization beginning to dawn on him.

"Yes," Hela said with a satisfied glint in her eyes. "I told you I would get my revenge one day. Now you're coming to Helheim with me, _little one._ " She dragged the tone mockingly, flicking the tip of the necrosword on his neck. "This was a great idea, using the blades to mark him. I'm impressed."

"It wasn't my idea." Loki pointed out.

"Of course." Hela looked at Sigyn with an empty smile. "Think you can produce a portal?" She asked, turning to Loki.

With the help of the Space Stone and his binding spell, Loki produced a portal as dark as the obsidian rock that guarded Helheim's gate.

Back staring at Thanos, Hela barked, "Kill him."

Sigyn thrusted and twisted the dagger on Thanos' neck upward, moving it against the sword, and severed his spinal cord. She jumped off his neck and rolled away as his body convulsed wildly and his last scream got forever caught in his throat.

Hela crouched on the floor by Thanos' body. Invisible to everyone but her, a dark purple glow seeped up from the body, and Hela put her hand less than an inch from it. The dark green of her magic enveloped Thanos' soul, trying to bind it. Sigyn could see the effort it took. Thanos was resisting the binding with all he had, but the necroswords had already poisoned him. It wasn't long until his whole being was swallowed by the dark. When his soul finally took the form of his former self, he was already bound to Helheim.

"We're going to have so much fun." Hela said with a scowl.

A movement of her hand commanded Thanos through the portal as if he were a mere puppet under her spell.

Hela turned to Loki and extended her hand. Loki flinched with the cold shock he felt on his wrist, but as a weight seemed to be lifted from his shoulders, he knew he was no longer bound to Helheim.

"I'll see that you don't return. It will be more fun for everyone if next time you end up in Valhalla." Hela said with a hint of amusement in her monotonous deep tone.

With a small nod in Thor's direction, she walked through the portal and Loki made it disappear behind her.

The gauntlet shook, still resisting Loki and his magic. He had been blocking Sigyn from helping with it, as he already knew what had to happen. Outside their shield bubble, everyone was screaming and hitting the invisible barrier. Under Sigyn's stare, Loki slid the gauntlet on.

 _You know the price you have to pay for it_

Sigyn's hands were shaking, and her shielding spell started to wane. Loki took a deep breath, and closed his eyes tight, holding roughly to her wrist and pulling her to him.

.-

 _Cold._

 _Why is it so cold?_

 _And dark._

Sigyn tried to breathe, but little air would reach her lungs. She blinked, but the light was scarce and her sight was blurry. Her head went spinning, trying to grasp every bit of magic she had left. It wasn't much. Her chest felt empty.

 _Loki? Loki!_

Her voice made no sound in the void. And the void offered no response. _Did he? He surely didn't -_ Sigyn gulped hard, or tried, as her mouth had gone dry. A small sob escaped from her.

 _Am I dead?_

 _No, you're not._

Slowly, her surroundings became clearer, and air was available to her again. The sound of her own heartbeat was like being brought back to life. Slowly, her eyes managed to focus. The green glow of the sphere she was in illuminated Loki's face. She smiled weakly.

"The soul stone disappearing depleted us a little." Loki explained. "I'm sorry about that…"

"What happened? Where are we?" She croaked, holding on to him.

Sigyn looked around, her eyes getting used to the little light around them. She noticed they were floating on space, debris all around them. There was something familiar about this exact spot of the universe, something close, almost friendly. And heavy, so immensely heavy.

"Asgard?" She said. Loki nodded.

"We don't need the soul stone." He said looking at the empty socket on the gauntlet. "These other stones are enough."

"Enough for what?" She asked tentatively.

Loki flexed his gloved fingers. "We could - do whatever… get our lives back, get back what we lost. _Rule_."

"Rule? What is there for us to rule?" Sigyn pulled herself in front of him. "Loki, that's just Odin talking, not you."

Loki clenched his jaw and shook his head slightly. "You should be queen of the whole universe." He breathed out, looking down. "Now I could make it happen. I could give you everything you deserve."

"I never wanted to be a queen." She said softly, linking his free hands in her fingers. "And some things I don't want back."

"Our life…" He squeezed her hand, and swallowed hard.

He looked around. The ruins of the place they once called home floated and swirled around them. They had been happy here, once. It would be _so_ easy to reclaim what they lost… be happy again. Without all the mistakes and the lies and the secrets. He could make it _perfect_.

"That was another life, Loki." Sigyn interrupted his thoughts. "One that took me too long to accept it's gone. It will hurt me for as long as I live, but I can't go back to it."

Sigyn cupped his face and Loki leaned his forehead on hers.

"We have the chance to build a new life. One where you're not constantly trying to prove yourself." Loki groaned softly and Sigyn smiled. "You have nothing to prove to anyone anymore, not even to me. We could actually be _free_. No more chasing, no more running, no more obligations… Just you and me."

"As we're meant to be." He added.

Loki kissed her, arm around her waist. A long deep kiss, it made the universe disappear. The soft warmth of her magic enveloped him, soothed him. And he understood: it was time to let go. Everything he needed was inside this bubble.

Reluctantly pulling away, he took the gauntlet off and gave it to her. Now that its magic wasn't working against her, it hummed and vibrated, filling her with new power. Sigyn closed her eyes and focused on the Space Stone, willing a portal to appear.

"Where are we going?" Loki asked.

"Titan." Sigyn said, Loki didn't need explaining. "There's still work to be done."

"We are going to help that bunch of-"

"Yes, we are."

He had to roll his eyes at her, but still pushed their bubble through the portal. The bubble disappeared when they landed on the planet. Sigyn flexed the gauntlet and pulled the Space Stone off. Once freed, it took the shape of the Tesseract.

She gave it to Loki.

"This is our reward." She said with a smirk. Loki made it disappear into one of his pocket dimensions.

Sigyn took a deep breath and focused on the Time Stone. Visions swirled around them, and her eyes glowed gold as she walked through the barren terrain. Loki followed her close.

"Here." She said in a deep voice.

Sigyn extended her hand. Green circlets surrounded the gauntlet, and she commanded them to move with her other hand. Images flashed backwards. Several sunsets and sunrises where nothing changed. Then, lights, lightning, dust… dust flowing, dust gathering around, dust coalescing. The gauntlet hummed harder now, and Sigyn was having trouble keeping the spell. Loki stood behind her, his hands hovering inches away from hers, mimicking her moves, letting her borrow his magic.

The dust cloud swirled upwards, forming a blob that slowly took shape. Sigyn mixed her healing magic with the Stone's magic, and at last the shadow figure became a human. A very tired and confused human who had to learn how to breathe again. Sigyn stopped the magic flow and let the gauntlet rest.

The human collapsed on the floor and gasped loudly before looking at Loki and Sigyn. "What-?"

"Welcome back, Dr. Strange." Sigyn smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

**Ch.11: For a moment we were able to be still**

 _*~ 15 years later ~*_

The snow crunched softly under her feet as she made her way through the busy streets of London. It barely a couple of inches, but it was enough to make the londoners grumbly. Their thoughts amused her all the way to her destination. After a short detour on her favorite tea spot, she arrived to the Sanctum.

"Good afternoon, Stephen." Sigyn greeted the gray haired man at the door. He simply smiled and let her in. "How are you doing?"

Stephen took a deep breath. "Very polite of you to ask."

"As you can see, my magic is preoccupied somewhere else." She said with a smile and a hand wave as they sat by the coffee table. "The mind reading doesn't come as easy."

"Right." He responded with a sad smile.

She studied him. His tired eyes, his crouched body. The lines in his face and the wrinkles in his hands. Stephen was tired. With good reason. Reverting the effects of the snap had crippled his life span significantly, even with her and Loki's help. Losing 50 years was nothing for two gods, but for a human… No matter how much energy he had reluctantly borrowed from the dark dimension, age was catching up with Stephen.

"I know this is not a courtesy visit, Stephen." Sigyn sipped her tea, trying to find a comfortable position on the arm chair. "What do you need?"

"Is not something I need, is more of a proposition." He explained, leaning back on his chair. "I'm - dying." He stated with finality.

Sigyn kept silent and waited for him to continue.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this." Stephen looked down while he spoke. "Even the most simple spells take such a toll on me… Magic always comes with a price. We did something that was deemed impossible, and now I'm suffering the consequences." Another moment of silence, as Sigyn didn't want to interrupt. Stephen had to find his own words. "I'm tired, and I cannot longer protect Earth."

Sigyn knew this was a hard choice to make for Stephen. He wasn't _that_ old yet by human standards, but she could see his wounds weren't physical. His mind was tired. His heart was tired. He had given up too much. He needed the break.

"I was - _I am still_ \- honored of being appointed Sorcerer Supreme. But I cannot longer perform my duties to the best of my abilities." Stephen took a deep breath, and swallowed hard. "I'm retiring. I would like very much to have you take my place."

"I had the feeling you'd ask me that." Sigyn said, sipping the last of her tea. "I have a feeling you also know my answer."

Stephen laughed softly. "Yes, but I had hopes. Besides, my other option is not that removed from you."

"Now, he would probably say yes." Sigyn smiled knowingly. "But, as you can see, there's something we need to take care of before."

"Yes, I was counting on it." Stephen poured tea for himself. "I just wanted you to talk to him, secure his agreement and your involvement. What the position implies."

"We already guard one Infinity Stone." Sigyn said. "We know what the position implies."

"The Time Stone will stay here, guarded by the sanctum sorcerers." Stephen was visibly more relaxed now. "I will continue to train new people with Wanda, but I will take it slow from now on."

"I know you're not very fond of borrowing from the Dark Dimension…" She suggested.

"I am aware that, in order to wait for you both to take over, I will have to do it." Stephen sighed with resignation and drank the last of his tea. "How long until you are due? It's been a long time already."

Sigyn smiled. "Well, when you have nearly a 5000 years life span, pregnancy takes a bit longer than 9 months." She explained. "But soon. I'm guessing a couple of weeks, tops."

"Then back to Asgard."

"Then back to Asgard for a while, which is funny cause I'm still an exile." Sigyn rolled her eyes and stood up slowly. "Loki should be reachable by the end of the week. I'll let you know what we decide." With a small hand move she made the empty cups disappear from the table. "Now, I need to borrow a portal."

"New York?" Stephen said with a smile. Sigyn nodded.

.-

New York streets were also covered in snow, but the city inhabitants weren't as bitter about it. They just complained about the traffic, which, snow or not, in New York was awful. Sigyn took the subway all the way to Brooklyn and slowly walked the busy streets to the building complex. She groaned at seeing the "Out of Work" sign on the elevator.

"Fuck this shit…" She muttered, and teleported to the fifth floor. Feeling dizzy was better than to use the stairs in her current state, but it made her lose her balance and slam against a door.

"What-" Bucky opened the door to see her leaning on the wall, eyes slightly out of focus. "Sigyn! What happened?"

"I teleported." She shook her head to gain some focus back. "Elevator is out of service."

"I absolutely forgot about that, I'm sorry." Bucky grabbed her arm and helped her in the apartment. "Anyway… want some tea? Soda? Water?"

"Actually, I can't stay for too long. I wasn't planning on coming, but I saw your very urgent message this morning." She said, sitting by the table. "What's the matter?"

Bucky blushed. "It's not - an emergency. It's more of a-" He sighed. "It's better if I show you."

Bucky took her arm, helping her up and leading her to the back room. Inside, there were a large handcrafted cradle and matching toy chest.

"You made these?" Sigyn smiled widely at Bucky. He nodded. "Bucky, they are beautiful!"

"Yeah, well, what do you exactly gift a princess, you know?" He said looking sheepish and scratching the back of his head. "After much debating, we decided to make something ourselves."

The wood work had a rustic feeling, but the colors were light and painted with amazing bright designs. The toy chest was open, and filled with vintage dolls and stuffed animals. The mental image of Steve and Bucky going to a store and buying every single doll and teddy bear made Sigyn's heart warm up.

"Thank you!" She crouched by the toy chest, admiring the flashing patterns of flowers, animals, trees, leaves and sparks. It didn't go unnoticed that some of it was meant to represent magic. "Steve painted these, right?"

"Yes."

Sigyn stood up again, still admiring their work. "Where is he, by the way?"

"Visiting Tony at the hospital. You'd think after two heart attacks the guy would slow down, but no. He got himself a third one." Bucky explained. "Pepper asked Steve to talk some sense into him."

"Yeah, that's not going to work." Sigyn giggled.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "How are you planning to take these with you?"

"Oh…" She waved her hand, and both the cradle and the toy chest disappeared in a golden flash.

Bucky shook his head. "Right. Magic."

Sigyn patted his arm. "I really have to get going, it's probably dark in London. Please, tell Steve that I am very grateful for the gifts, they are absolutely stunning!"

"I am so happy you liked it!" He said somewhat relieved. "I mean - they're not a match for the golder cradles you have in Asgard…"

"Everyone has a golden cradle in Asgard." She rolled her eyes at the thought. "Katla will have one handmade especially for her." Sigyn hugged Bucky tightly. "I'll send you some pics as soon as she's making use of it."

Bucky led her to the door and hugged her again, kissing both her cheeks and making sure she was well covered from the cold, before she made her way back to the Sanctum.

.-

 _How's the visit going?_

 _Terrible._

Loki was currently in Jotunheim, in his Jotun form, leading a party of Asgardian diplomats, and carrying the Casket of Ancient Winters as part of a peace offering to the Frost Giants. Negotiations were slow. Helbindi, Laufey's oldest and only living son, was reluctant to believe Asgard would hold up to their word. With good reason. Thor, who had been appointed as the new King and Allfather, after Odin decided to stay in Valhalla when Asgard was rebuilt, had tried to wage war on them. And Loki, jotun or not, had tried to destroy the planet and had killed Laufey himself. Though he kept that little detail from Helbindi.

 _Are you home yet? This council is about to end._

Sigyn had just made herself some dinner when Loki's illusion sat across her on the table.

"I hate Thor."

Sigyn had to laugh. "I'm guessing you're not advancing that much?"

"Not as much as I'd like to. But I can't really blame Helbindi. All in all, he has been a very accommodating host."

"Did you give them the casket?"

"Not yet. It was heavily implied that I would only do that once we were well on our way back home." Loki rubbed his face, and looked at his hands. "I have to give Thor credit though. Being here as an Asgardian _and_ a Jotun has facilitated things a bit. I resigned all claims to the Jotnar throne too. Helbindi was visibly more open to conversation after I did."

Illusion or not, Sigyn could tell Loki was tired. Scooting as close to the table as she could, she put her hand on top of Loki's.

"I miss you." She said.

Loki's face relaxed. "Me too." He put his other hand on top of hers. The static tickled her skin.

"Only a couple more weeks…"

"And then back to Asgard." He said, deflated.

Going back to Asgard wasn't something Loki, nor Sigyn, wanted.

Sigyn had built a life on Midgard, and was content with working at the sanctum, training new sorcerers and helping out the new Avengers. Loki had been dragged to it, somewhat resistant at first, but he had also settled into midgardian life quite okay after Steve and Tony helped clear his name.

Meanwhile, Thor was slowly adjusting to the Allfather and King titles, but ruling a kingdom wasn't something that came naturally to him, and he seeked Loki's help more often than not. Loki had been begrudgingly helping him out, advising him on how to deal with diplomacy and economics and trading and an endless list of things Thor never took interest in. But Loki knew that, ultimately, Thor wanted him to stay, and that was something he would refuse to do.

He couldn't go back and be second best, or be in the shadow of his brother. He wasn't going to be whatever Thor needed him to be, or do whatever Thor needed him to do anymore. Least of all now, when he had been offered a chance to stay on Midgard for much longer, in a position of power, even above his brother. Loki had taken Stephen's offer with caution, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't excited by the prospect.

He could finally be _free_.

But for now, staying close to Asgard was necessary. Sigyn didn't trust anyone else to take care of baby Katla's delivery but the palace healers, neither did Loki for that matter.

So he played his part, went on every visit and helped with every treaty. After finally succeeding at making peace with Jotunheim, and returning the Casket of Ancient Winters to its rightful owners, Thor sent Loki to Vanaheim and Alfheim. Asgard had promised to help rebuild what Thanos had destroyed, and their politics needed to be rebuilt too.

Sigyn had been helping Loki whenever she could, and traveling with him, until she was getting too big and drained to do so. Their bond was as useful as ever, and Sigyn was able to keep helping and advising him, or simply keeping him calm, getting him through the day. And missing him so much, knowing there was not much they could do, but wait for their daughter to be born.

Each day was long, and the night grew restless, as Sigyn knew they were getting close. She could feel it. It wasn't exactly a surprise when she woke up in the middle of the night.

 _Loki._

"What?" His illusion was there in a blink.

"Are you on Asgard?" Sigyn sat on the bed, holding the bottom of her belly.

"Yes, I just got back a couple of hours ago-" Loki stopped talking as he saw Sigyn's face flinch in pain. Pain he also felt half a universe a way. "Sweet Valhalla… is it?"

Sigyn nodded. "It's time."

Loki's illusion disappeared, and Sigyn knew he was making his way to the Bifrost chambers. Using most of her strength and moving slowly between contractions, she made it to the backyard of their little home in London and waited. It wasn't long before the multicolored light sucked her into space, and she landed on Loki's arm a few seconds later in the middle of another contraction.

"Holy shit, I had forgotten how much this hurts!" She whimpered.

"Thor, now!" Was all Loki said through clenched teeth.

Sigyn looked up and watched Thor wield Gungnir in her direction. She felt as if Thor was pouring cold water on the top of her head, and she knew he had removed her banishment.

"Thank you." She muttered, still panting.

"Take her to the Healer ward." Thor said with concern.

"Think you can teleport?" Loki asked, standing behind her and wrapping his arms on the underside of her belly.

Sigyn took a deep breath and nodded. In a blink, they were in the ward, and the healers took over, busying around her. Loki refused to leave her side, helping her as much as he could: with magic, sharing her pain, helping her breathe… Just as he had done all those years ago.

 _At least it's only one this time._

 _I would've killed you if I had to go through two all over again!_

After what it felt like hours, the tension was broken by the sharp cries of the newborn princess. Loki kissed Sigyn's sweaty forehead as the healers put the baby on her chest. He watched in awe and with tears in his eyes how Sigyn fed their tiny little Katla, while playing with her hand wrapped around his finger. His chest hurt remembering the first time he had seen his boys, exactly like this: small, defenseless, and so full of life. He thought he'd never love anything or anyone as much as he loved Narfi and Vàli. His heart was bursting now that Katla was proving him wrong.

"You are the most beautiful and amazing woman ever." Loki said, cupping Sigyn's face.

"Yeah, especially now. All sweaty and blotched and exhausted." She chuckled.

"Especially now." Loki stressed.

A few hours later, Sigyn was in their chambers, fast asleep after a relaxing and very much needed bath. The palace nurses had tried to get Princess Katla from his father's arms, but it was impossible. Loki had taken it on himself to care for her, clean her up, calm her down, and lull her to sleep after feeding time.

Right now, he was pacing near the window, little Katla secure in his arms, and sucking on his pinky finger. She was getting all fussy and agitated, and he knew she needed to be fed again.

"Sigyn, my love." He said softly, sitting by her on the bed. "I am so sorry."

"What?" She groaned sleepily, opening one eye to see the squirming baby in Loki's hold. "Oh, right…"

Both managed to find a comfortable position, with Sigyn on her side and Loki behind her. Baby Katla latched to her mother's breast.

"Have you thought about Stephen's offer?" Sigyn asked after a moment.

"I have." Loki said. "I think is good idea."

She smiled. "Really?"

"Yes. You don't want to be here on Asgard any more than I do." Loki explained. "It gives me the perfect excuse to get away, while still helping Thor if I feel like it." Sigyn had to laugh at his statement. "Besides, it won't be forever. What's a couple hundred years to us?"

"More than enough time to find someone else, train them and then move on." Sigyn nodded. "What do you know? You might end up liking it and we stay for even longer."

"Maybe." He smiled. "As long as we're together…"

Sigyn turned her head to look at him. "When did you get so mushy?"

Loki laughed with his face buried on her neck. "Your fault."

"You're an idiot." She rolled her eyes.

"You're the one married to an idiot."

Loki kissed her softly, then helped her to switch sides. He silently watched his daughter fall asleep, sated and happy. Finally, they were a family again. Finally, Loki found where he truly belonged. For some people home is not a place: it is a person. In Loki's case, two. No matter where they were in the universe, he was home.

 **.~ The End ~***


End file.
